"One big mistake people make when hiring an aide is to say, 'Your job is to take care of Dad,'" says Dollar. "That's not good enough -- you need a detailed job description." Do you expect the aide to cook? Clean? Do laundry? Pick up medications from the pharmacy and run errands? Will she bring her own lunch or cook and eat with your parents? Make your expectations clear. It's also important to tell the aide when her routine evaluations and raises will occur. If you put all these details in writing, you won't run the risk of disappointment once you've hired your aide, and you'll have better luck keeping her on board.
"You should also enlighten your parents or other family members about what they should -- and shouldn't -- be asking for," says Silverman. If the contract doesn't say the aide will wash the floors, don't expect it.
Setting clear rules about food and cooking is also important, says Silverman. "One problem I often see is that the way the aide eats may not be the way the parents eat. You need to make sure an aide will shop and cook for your parents' dietary needs, not according to her own habits."
Keep in mind that aides are employees; don't try to make them your friends. "People are so happy to have help that they often treat the employee like a friend, and that creates problems down the line," says Dollar. If your employee thinks of herself as your pal, she may be more likely to take liberties such as bringing her kids or pets to work, or she may bridle when you assert your authority and request a change. The bottom line: Keep it professional.
I know that, at least in Texas, when an elderly person becomes homebound, Medicare/Medicaid will pay for a Home Health Aide/Personal Care attendant to come in for a set number of hours. My mother is at that stage now and we are having to pay for private care because we don't know how to go about getting insurance to pay for it. Any suggestions?
This was very helpful! When my mother's health degraded to the point that my father needed a live-in helper for her, they went the independent path. My sisters and I are uncomfortable with the way the caregiver is paid in cash. It always seemed too overwhelming to negotiate the paperwork to pay taxes on her salary. I didn't know there were services available to do that for us. I will definitely check those out!