Being a Caregiver
It's easy to focus on everyone and everything other than yourself. In this online support group, we focus on the "i" in Caring and your role as a caregiver -- offering tips, advice and support to help with self caring.
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Kind hearted said...
8 days ago
Hi I'm new to this group, I care for a young person who has cerebral palsy and can do very little on their own. I'm with them 5 to 6 days a week I wake them up and put them to bed I'm the only one Who really pays any attention to them out of the family. I don't know what it's like to have a child like that because I have been blessed with a healthy child but I don't feel the family pays any attention to them like they do the other children and they have me feed them when everyone else isn't eating because there's no room at The table. The house is not handicap assessable and it's very difficult just trying to get them out of the house to catch a bus or get in a car They are no longer in physical therapy and I never get a straight answer why sometimes I feel like the family doesn't want her to get any better so they can put them away somewhere they have even went as far as to ask me if their child could stay with me and they would pay my rent and come and see the child when they could nowI love this child dearly and I have passed up other offers to care for other people to stay with them but I have so many things going on it just wouldn't work now am I letting my emotions get in the way? Is there anyone that has been through anything like this? I'm sorry this is so long I just needed to get it out.
11 days ago
sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed. I have 2 adult children who are very low functioning autistic men. They function at about the level of a 2 year old and so are dependent for most ADL's but they are very mobile and have no safety awareness. I also care for my 88 year old father who has multiple health conditions including end stage renal and he goes to dialysis 3 times a week. he needs help with most ADL's including transfers from bed to chair. Sometimes I am just so tired. my husband helps as much as he is able but he has multiple health problems too. we live more than 20 miles from the nearest town and so many services are unavailable to us. sometimes it seems like there is no one who understands.
16 days ago
It hurts my heart that I am my mother's sole caregiver and my sibling lives in the same home with her! I live right behind my mom but want her to have independence. My sister steals her pain medication and sleeps all day ignoring my mother, who is a recent amputee, crying out for help. I am angry, sad and disgusted. Help please. Arguing and trying to show my sister's disregard for my mom is detrimental to my mother's recovery...Any suggestions are welcome.
29 days ago
I need help I have a twin sister who has disabilities and has on many occasions run away from her home in Boston because computer use and lies that are being fed to her this time she went missing for 2 weeks and now I have her in Florida and trying to get to to live here our mom really hasn't given her a structured life and I'm will to but my problem is she doesn't want to stay and tells me we are holding her against her will what can I do please I worry about her safety..
about 1 month ago
Hey, I've been taking care of my mom for almost 12 years. She's bedridden because of progressive Multiple Sclerosis and has dementia, she's in her early 60s. How she got there is a long story that would take up too much writing space here. This is going to be a long post, brace yourself.
I am 32. This week has been hard for me and tonight I'm feeling straight up miserable. I haven't been sleeping well and I know I have some sort of low-level depression, which doesn't help anything.
I started taking care of my mom at around 22. Now I'm just resentful with no patience and it shows. I get frustrated a lot and sometimes I get angry, but it's mostly frustration. Mostly because my mom doesn't remember me, but because I feel trapped and unfullfilled. I realize most people at my age are married or have careers and I never got to do either. I feel emotionally and financially held back because I live at home. (We have tried to get my dad to pay me, but it hasn't happened yet. I don't quite understand it and don't want to get into personal money issues here.) I just don't feel like an adult and that's bad.
I feel held back in life in general. I am wondering if I could even get married at this point? (My non-exsistant dating life and having no boyfriend ever, being moot.) How could I take care of a house, a husband and my mom? (And my dad eventually.) I know a lot of people DO, but that's long after they're married and don't usually go into it with the burden of caregiving. And I always have the thought in the back of my head that if I did get married, my mom would be alive and everything, but not able to share it with me and that' s really depressing.
So, lack of milestones is a big thing. I know getting a boyfriend or getting married wouldn't make everything instantly better, but it would be nice to share life with someone and stop feeling left behind while watching friends and other people get married and stuff. I'm just not sure if it would be fair to the man in the unique situation I'm in. I know that's not a question anyone can answer here, but we all have to vent sometime.
Thank you for reading all this. Have a good day and hang in there.
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