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Smile of the Week

Signs That You're No Longer a Kid (or Even Close)

By , .
Last updated: November 24, 2014
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  1. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
  2. Your back goes out more than you do.
  3. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
  4. You're proud of your lawn mower.
  5. Your best friend is dating someone half his/her age... and isn't breaking any laws.
  6. You sing along with the elevator music.
  7. You'd rather go to work than stay home sick.
  8. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
  9. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
  10. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
  11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  12. People call at 9 pm. And ask, "Did I wake you?"
  13. You send money to PBS.
  14. You know what the word equity means.
  15. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
  16. Your ears are hairier than your head.
  17. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
  18. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

-- Anonymous