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What Not to Say to Dementia Patients
Date Updated: January 3, 2025
Written by:
Lauren Thomas is a seasoned writer that specializes in long-term care, with a special focus on dementia-related topics. She holds a degree in counseling and uses her knowledge and experience to create insightful content that gives seniors and families the information they need to make important care decisions.
Reviewed by:
Dr. Brindusa Vanta is a health care professional, researcher, and an experienced medical writer (2000+ articles published online and several medical ebooks). She received her MD degree from “Iuliu Hatieganu” University of Medicine, Romania, and her HD diploma from OCHM – Toronto, Canada.
What not to say to dementia patients includes statements that correct their perception of reality, use complex words or sentences or sound critical or judgemental. Avoiding these can help reduce stress or confusion for your loved one living in memory care and foster more positive interactions.
Understand Dementia and Communication Challenges
Dementia describes a group of symptoms that affect an individual’s memory, cognitive and social abilities. Commonly associated with dementia, language difficulties pose significant challenges, leading to social isolation, frustration and loneliness. Individuals in the early stages of dementia may struggle to find the correct words to express their thoughts, while those in the later stages of memory loss may have difficulty tracking conversations.
Incorporating creative techniques for communication and knowing what not to say to a loved one living with memory loss helps improve their quality of life, allowing you to positively connect with them.
Adapt Communication Techniques for Memory Loss
When you have a loved one living with memory loss, you naturally want to connect with them in the ways you’re accustomed to. However, as their condition progresses, your goals and strategies for communication must change. This means avoiding certain types of interactions, including:
- Denying or correcting their reality: Instead of correcting your loved one’s perception of reality, engage with them, and allow them to reminisce. For example, if your loved one says they want to take their dog for a walk, instead of reminding them they haven’t had a dog in decades, ask them what they loved most about their pet.
- Using complex words or sentences: Keep sentences short, simple and direct, and limit your conversations to familiar words.
- Making judgmental remarks: Resist the urge to comment on your loved one’s changing abilities or criticize their actions or decisions.
Use These Strategies for Positive Communication With Dementia Patients
Your visits with your loved one in memory care provide opportunities to foster positive interactions. Helpful strategies for communication include:
- Focus on nonverbal communication: Even when verbal communication skills slip, nonverbal communication skills remain largely preserved. Keep this in mind, and use body language and facial expressions to show compassion, openness and support.
- Use encouraging language: Using positive phrases, such as, “You’re doing great,” and “I like how you decorated your room,” can help your loved one feel valued.
- Be patient: Changing communication skills can lead to frustration for you and your loved one. Focus on being patient and understanding, especially when they repeat a question or story.