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Widows and widowers

This group would be for widows and widowers and how they are coping with the loss of their loved ones, their challenges and what helps them to deal with this situation.


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4 months ago

My husband was a veteran and since deceased in 2012 although he service peacetime and not wartime and when he got of service he was diginos as having TBI and he recieved social sceruity as having PTSD THE VETERAN AFFAIRS still dont want to give me as a veteran widow any help where can i get the needed help to get help from

fluffycat50 said...

5 months ago

Hi I am new on this post I just lost my husband to Congestive Heart Failure on June 12,2016 on my in-laws 50th Wedding Anniversary, they have a positive look on it they said their son got his wings on the Golden Anniversary, that is such a sweet thing to say about my husband he was a good person, I will miss him terribly we were married for 21 years would of been 22 on July 15,2016 our son will be 21 on July 18th 2016, John would of been proud of our son turning 21 next month. I moved in with my Dad he lived alone now I am here to keep him company and help him he will be 93 in September I was born on his birthday on the 27th. Hope everyone has a nice 4th. I feel more at peace with my husband passing I will miss him but not suffering and in pain he suffered a year and a half. God was merciful on him he was also blind in his left eye and partially on his right also. Have a nice holiday weekend, Your Friend, Lisa C

Aginn10 said...

4 months ago

obtgoG said...

2 months ago

brighterstar said...

6 months ago

I lost my husband to cancer 3 months ago.He was 55 years old. I was his sole caregiver throughout his 8 month battle while working full-time remotely.. I took him to all 39 of his radiation treatments and all his doctor appointments, helping him into a wheel chair and battling stairs and elevators. We always had hope and kept believing he would get better and would beat this. As time went on I could see he was declining slowly and the medications and treatments weren't working. I had worked for a hospice as an admin prior to my current job and so I was familar with what was happening and although I didn't want to face it I was preparing for the worst. My routine became more and more difficult as he became weaker and unable to do many of the things he used to do. I was managing his meds, getting him dressed, bathing and transferring him from bed to wheel chair. We never talked about him dying as it was too difficult for both of us to ever mention. We were both so sensitive and couldn't bear the thought of either one of us losing one another. After 6 hospitalizations we started hospice services in which an RN came in 2 times a week. During his final weeks I was assisting with feeding, caring for a foot wound, bed sores and assisted with his catheter. Not once in the 8 months that he suffered did he ever complain, swear or raise his voice out of anger. He was more concerned of how he felt he was a burden to me and others. He died with all of his family surrounding him as I laid beside him with my hand on his heart feeling those last beats until there were none. Caring for him was what I wanted to do and would have never done it any other way and I am so grateful that we were together the whole time and he was comfortable at home surrounded by his dog, cats and me.The first month after he passed was extremely difficult as I was no longer needed, no longer looking at the clock for medications to be given, no more asking him if he was okay and needing anything, no longer laying beside him and holding his hand and sharing our gratitude and love for one another. I felt so lost, so empty. Grieving everyday is a part of my life now. It doesn't seem to get easier. No matter who I talk to or where i go or what entertainment i have for the moment, there is still always that sharp pain that hits your heart everyday. The pain is deeper than anything imaginable. Unless you have experienced it yourself grief is a very difficult process to go through as I am finding everyday and there is no time limit as well as no end date as to when it will stop as it will always be with you. i am understanding now as time goes on this is something that I will have to learn to live with and accept as a part of the rest of my life. I feel writing my experience has already helped me and reading the other letters of people who are going through the same thing has given me encouragement and strength.

fluffycat50 said...

5 months ago

Widow2016 said...

8 months ago

Every day is getting a little bit easier than the day before. Right after my husband's death I was in shock and had depression. As the shock is alleviated I am beginning to understand that my prayers for my husband were answered even though not in the way I expected. I prayed he would come home from the hospital and he is but in a different way than I expected. I have not been in peace for a long time and now there are no more extreme ups and downs but a peaceful calm that I haven't felt in a long time. I am no longer having to lean on friends to help me with the nightmare but feel confort knowing God is helping me and is always there for me. Having peace feels so good.

Widow2016 said...

8 months ago

I recently became a widow. About a year and a half ago my husband was well and life was good. We both had different interests which we both enjoyed. We helped each other with everything else, he did the errands and I did all of the paperwork and finances. We both had no close family but each of us had a few friends. Our similarities were we both were loners, one of his interests was inventing and mine was art. He taught me how to be generous which I loved. Then he got sick and it was a nightmare. We did not know the reason for it except he was treated for diabetes and all of the affects it had on his body. About a month before he died he was diagnosed with a rare heart disease which was the cause. He was in such agony at the end of his life. When he died I knew he would never be in excruciating pain again which is the reason I have accepted his passing and knowing he is with God in heaven.

fluffycat50 said...

5 months ago