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Caring for a Spouse

Welcome to this online support group for spousal caregivers! Please introduce yourself - Ask for advice - Share your experiences caring for your husband, wife or partner. Talk about ailments and treatments, caregiving and relationship challenges, daily life, your tips for others. Vent, laugh, and come back to this online support group as often as you need to feel less alone. Some featured conversations to help you get started...

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What's New Today

about 4 hours ago

Spouse has alzheimers as does his brother. I care for hubby at home and brother is in a special facility. My question is should I take my hubby to visit his brother, am leary of how it may affect him. Please let me know your thoughts.

Sheila1944 said...

about 2 hours ago

Tawnia said...

about 2 hours ago

Tawnia said...

about 6 hours ago

Good morning, Friends!

Thought for this morning - ALWAYS find a reason to laugh. It may not add years to your life, but it will always add life to your years.

May you find a bit of peace in your day!

Tawnia said...

1 day ago

Now I'm trying to hang on to whatever sanity I have left.

Since my husband is not working (retired and disabled), he collects the mail. Several months ago, we applied for him to receive social security benefits for my daughter since he was providing for her instead of her biological father. We found out today that our request was denied. As I was cleaning off the dining table (because no one else does it), I found a document from Social Security asking for more information. I informed hubby that I had not seen that document and he told me he showed me. Um... nope. Not this one. He refuses to believe he could be wrong about anything. Maybe I should have gone in to work today. :(

Tawnia said...

about 6 hours ago

LAJ2012 said...

about 5 hours ago

Tawnia said...

1 day ago

Good morning, all! First of all, may you find a bit of peace in your day!

Hubby went in for a surgical procedure yesterday - scope up the urethra, past the bladder, and up the ureter to find what, if anything, was blocking complete urination. This went well - very little scar tissue, no stones, and swelling going to down from recent infection! We even got to come home that same morning. The only problem was the anesthesia. It left his nauseated and restless until about 4 something this morning. He is now resting comfortably enough so I went ahead and took today off from work so I can rest as well.

Now to work on getting the ADA shower stall installed in our house. We have been waiting for over 3 months for this but our plumber is hubby's adopted son from a previous marriage. He's taking advantage of my husband's kindness/patience. Three months of unfulfilled promises of "I"ll be there on such-and-such date". Three months of watching my husband almost fall trying to get his legs up and over the ledge of a traditional bathtub. I'm ready to watch a day's worth of YouTube videos and just do it myself. Time to get off here and research my other options.

Again, may you find a bit of peace today.

Tawnia said...

1 day ago

Sheila1944 said...

about 18 hours ago

1 day ago

FYI!! Finally back on site .Lost it about 2 weeks ago and couldn't find it. They tell me I shouldn't have a computer, but I fixed them this time HA! Took some advice I received and ran some DVD,s of one of our trips.while RV,ng wed.It was about the hot air balloon rally in Albuquerque Brought back some memories and my wife {Charlotte) enjoyed them.them. It was 3:00 AM so we didn't finish. As of this point her Brother is on the road to recovery. Had a heart attack last Wed l All arteries were blocked, but they put in a stint. Say a prayer. Thanks to all. Hugs to all

Beyond Tired said...

1 day ago

Sheila1944 said...

1 day ago

Max80819 said...

2 days ago

So last night I was at an HOA board meeting (I'm an officer of the HOA). I interacted with people that I could easily relate to. When I got home 2 hours later, my wife was fine, but I could tell I had to revert back to my caregiver interaction role. It was tough. I did enjoy my time away, then back to reality...

Max80819 said...

1 day ago

BobbieK said...

1 day ago

Tawnia said...

3 days ago

I really do need to get back to checking this site daily to give and receive support. Last night, one of DH's pseudo granddaughter claimed to attempt suicide (she's also 8 months pregnant). This threw my husband into fits of stress. Thankfully, she was taken to the psychology ward of a local hospital. She's being released today so I'm thinking she did not take the pills she claimed to have taken. I am so angry at this teenager, it's unreal. I'm trying not to show that in front of my husband but what get's my goat the most isn't her cry for attention it's his reaction towards her. Several months ago, I ended up calling a suicide hotline because this girl and her sister caused an insurmountable amount of pain and suffering. Hubby's reaction to me at that time was that it was MY fault that I felt that way. Listening to him talk to this girl is heartbreaking for me. "Oh honey, you need to take better care of yourself..." in a sugary sweet voice. I felt like my issues didn't mean a dang thing to him. I thought about being "sick" at work today but with that crap going on there was no way I was going to stay at home.

Here's hoping you find a bit of peace today.

LAJ2012 said...

1 day ago

BobbieK said...

1 day ago

LAJ2012 said...

4 days ago

This weekend was everything that I knew it would be. Busy., busy, busy. School wide mass at my son's new school followed by brunch, a family gathering. Two picnics, and church. I really enjoyed myself with the company. My husband was supposed to go to the picnics but he bailed on me, which wasn't surprising. Even before he was sick he didn't like to get out and socialize as much as me but he'd do some things. Now hardly ever. Not even one on one movie dates for he and I. Honestly, it's annoying me. He says he wants to enjoy whatever time he has left. When he talks of dying, he says how much he doesn't want to be without me so I don't get why he doesn't try to be with more doing what I like to do. But then he complains that I'm always looking for reasons to get out of the house. Why does he want me in the house when he's not trying to do much of anything with me? Selfishness? Well I don't know what else I can do besides invite him to come along. I'm not going to sit around unnecessarily. I have to enjoy my life as well. I just wish he'd stop getting angry abt it.

NeedHisStrength said...

2 days ago

NeedHisStrength said...

2 days ago

Chgogal said...

5 days ago

OMG this is so hard for me to write, but I am getting very frustrated and need some reassurance. So Bill has been in the hospital since Tuesday. I brought him in because he was sleeping for two days and was getting difficult to wake up. When he did wake up he would not be up for long before he would fall back to sleep. He was diagnosed with patchy left lower lobe pneumonia. Not really a big deal according to the doctor. He was hospitalized and put on IV antibiotics, and I thought we had our answer to the problem. However, his labs are now all coming back in normal ranges. The MRI was also unchanged since his last MRI which is good.

He has been on 3 different IV antibiotics since Tuesday and he is still very very fatigued and lethargic. They have tested just about everything they could think of and nothing is showing up. Yesterday he seemed to wake up more, be more alert, and we thought he was improving. But then today when I went to see him he is sleeping again.

The only last test to do is a lumbar puncture, which is kinda risky for someone in his condition with all of his problems. I don't know what to do. The lumbar puncture could reveal if he has some type of a fungus infection, but the risks of this procedure scare me. Two of his doctors said we should not do it (Neurologist and Oncologist) while two of his doctors are ok with them doing it (Neurosurgeon and Infectious Disease Doctors). Primary Care doctor says it is up to us, but maybe we should think about doing it.

I talked it over with my girls and we have decided to wait until tomorrow to see how he is then before making a decision.

I am so scared, that I am just beside myself. When he sleeps he is not sleeping very soundly. Its as if he is semi awake and semi asleep. I just have this sickening feeling that he has given up and this is his way of escaping by sleeping. He is exhibiting some weird behaviors (anxiety, pulling at clothes and sheets) that lead me to think he might be nearing the end, but the doctors tell me he is not terminal even though they do not know what is causing him to sleep all the time.

I just don't know if I should put him through the lumbar puncture if the risks outweigh the benefits or not. So scared I am losing him.

must love dogs said...

2 days ago

LAJ2012 said...

2 days ago

6 days ago

I need to talk to someone that is losing their spouse

imnmed said...

5 days ago

5 days ago

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