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Caring for a Spouse

Welcome to this online support group for spousal caregivers! Please introduce yourself - Ask for advice - Share your experiences caring for your husband, wife or partner. Talk about ailments and treatments, caregiving and relationship challenges, daily life, your tips for others. Vent, laugh, and come back to this online support group as often as you need to feel less alone. Some featured conversations to help you get started...

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What's New Today

about 22 hours ago

Hi. I'm new here. I've been searching for a while for a group like this. I'm a 32yo wife and mom. My husband is 35 and has type 2 or 1.5 diabetes (he's in the middle of a possible rediagnosis) and a long laundry list of conditions springing from the diabetes. He was diagnosed at age 23, a week before our wedding. The doctor told him that it was highly likely he'd been a diabetic since his late teens. Over the last 4 years things have just progressively gotten worse. He's fighting diabetic eye disease which is threatening to make him blind. He just recently went thru surgery for one eye. His neuropathy is worsening - the Dr is blaming his ED on that as well. They're worried about his kidneys as of last week. I honestly don't even know much about that yet because he won't talk about it and we've had sick kids all week so I haven't been able to get by the Dr office myself. Things have just really begun to take a toll. He's depressed and angry and withdrawn. He talks about And I'm depressed and maybe even resentful, which makes me feel so freaking horrible. I just don't know what to do.

LAJ2012 said...

about 12 hours ago

Beyond Tired said...

about 5 hours ago

LAJ2012 said...

1 day ago

So sad. I just cancelled me and my husband's marriage retreat for our anniversary weekend. Accommodations for the oxygen, especially with him using liquid and high liter flow of oxygen, was too much to even enjoy the getaway. When that plan was appearing to fall through I started thinking about a reservation at a hotel in our city. But for one night that was going to cost us nearly $400 for one night at one of the casino hotels. I would have done it if it was for the whole wknd. We don't need to spend that money to stay home. Not when my daughter's college graduation is around the corner, my son's bday. Plus, my husband could care less what we do. Guess we'll be doing our usual and going out to dinner.. I won't complain. It could be worse.

Drowning said...

about 23 hours ago

mare46 said...

about 22 hours ago

shescrabby said...

1 day ago

why do I have to feel.sick every day? why do I take one day off of going to NH than the next day it is so.much harder to see him? it hurts more, I cry more. I hate going to.NH and end up having the tears roll down my face in public. why when I sleep I think. why do I wake up when I am still tired? why does life go on?

about 14 hours ago

shescrabby said...

about 5 hours ago

shescrabby said...

6 days ago

Have a question my husband when he does finally come home will need a shower we all know that. are shower is 3x3 in a 6x6 bathroom. It would need extensive remodeling to get it where he could use it. Is there any help out there to help me with the money situation? I have been quoted over $10,000 because you have to move the toilet and the sink expand the wall and there's only so much room.

Racster said...

3 days ago

shescrabby said...

3 days ago

shescrabby said...

6 days ago

I feel like the walking dead today. I have no joy, no hope I am sinking. It is almost a year into this and I can't rise up. I am overwhelmed. I hurt my leg and told my husband "I am walking slow trying to get things done". He said "at least you can walk". I wish there was a line I could go stand in to 'throw in the towel'. People say how strong I am....how good I am looking....they have no idea the demons I am fighting. The demons are winning.. I just don't want to be here anymore.

shescrabby said...

5 days ago

5 days ago

Beyond Tired said...

7 days ago

Had to get the ambulance to rush hubby to the hospital early this morning. Please keep us in your prayers. Bad difficulties breathing. He looked so bad. Doing dialysis and waiting for a bed in the ICU.

Sheila1944 said...

1 day ago

shescrabby said...

1 day ago

LAJ2012 said...

9 days ago

I think I found a reliable helper. My stepdaughter. She's off on weekdays and just now went with her dad to the doct appt. She offered availability on Tuesdays to be here for oxygen deliveries or appts. I'll definitely be taking her up on that.

Chgogal said...

8 days ago

jkphx said...

6 days ago

11 days ago

My husband is paralyzed for 5 years from a motorcycle accident. He is 49 years old, and I am 42 years old. He doesn't have any control from the waist down. He used to rely on me with everything at the beginning. He started to rely on himself recently. I accepted the situation after the accident, I tried to be positive and held the family together. Recently, He gets angry quickly, He is trying to control me and criticize me most of the time. I began to avoid him and stay away from him. I started to feel that I worth someone better than him. I do not feel appreciated by him.

LAJ2012 said...

10 days ago

Sheila1944 said...

10 days ago

ggzee said...

11 days ago

I need to vent!!!!!!

My husband has good days bad days. Yesterday was a bad day,so today I thought he might want to rest. So I went to store. He usually goes,he did not want to. I go and come back he is gone. Dog is in house so didn't take dog to park. No note! Did I get scared... I give him a call then it started, I think you all know. I tried to tell him it is not all about him. I understand about him wanting to hold on to his independence. A note or call on phone,is that so hard. I can't tell if it is redrawl from alcohol or the effects of the liver failing. Been going to al-alon to help me, I better keep going because I have not learned what they teach. I blew up.

Thanks to all listening. Hugs

blueeyes5 said...

10 days ago

Sheila1944 said...

10 days ago

Wecandothis said...

12 days ago

LETTING GO OR HANGING IN? My husband (mid-70s) has had two traumatic pneumonia "events" in the last month. Both times, doctors have mentioned hospice (comfort care without medical treatment). He's in a fine Memory Care facility, but is mostly anxious or depressed. It's so hard to decide when his life should end, even if his/her Advance Health Directive leaves the decision up to me. How do I know what he would really prefer in the here-and-now? And our children will be resistant to "giving up.". Perhaps other caregivers on this site have been through this and can offer advice?

Wecandothis said...

11 days ago

Wecandothis said...

11 days ago

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