Caring for a Parent
Is it still safe for Mom to live on her own? What to do about Dad's difficult behavior? How to manage incontinence, or problems with siblings and other family members? Discuss these topics and more in this online support group for adult children caring for a parent. Get tips, advice, and support for your parental caregiving questions or concerns. Connect with others who understand what you're going through.
Additional resources that may be helpful:
- Alzheimer's Info Center
- Memory Care Communities in U.S.
- Professional In-Home Caregivers
- Senior Money and Legal Resources
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What's New Today
1 day ago
My dad was admitted to the hospital twice in two weeks he has cirrhosis of the liver.he got it throw a blood transfusion when he was 17 teen.this has been the most difficult time for my sister and me.we love him so much.the ammonia built up in his system and he is out of his mind.I have cried so much over the past two weeks.it just hurts so much to see him like this
1 day ago
I have been falsly acussed of elder abuse from my own eldwrly mentally ill dementia suffering mother with a walker .Because i caught her doing everything she said she couldnt do easily .I told no more using me .I cant take it.sje then looks at me an says shes gonna tell her nurse i abused her.I can prove with statements from her nurses an alot of people she was treated well.i had to kick her out i wont go to jail for lies .Now i am mad an sad.Anyone go through this
1 day ago
My mother has been in out of mental homes since i was 10 .Shes now in her 60 s with dementia parkingsons like symptoms from all of her mental meds.Walks with a walker her should disk gone.I have ocular mugraines that impair my vision an fall sometimes.I have rare painful skin disease too that can outbreak.she lived with me until she lost it i had to get her out of my home an help.For 3 months she came back an started acting ok then the helpless act came out.We did everything for her .All we asked is she needs to get up an down herself an bath an dress herself .well she started the act that she couldnt get up she wanted me 125 pounds 5'2 her 169 5'6 to pull her up everytime she got up.She could do it i dud it some an motivated her to do it.Well i caught her doing every single thing she said she couldnt easily when she thought i was asleep .i told her she wasnt using me me or lying to me all the time.I lost it i am on depression meds myself.I was mad she even called me to put her meds in her mouth while coming out the bathroom.She got mad at me because i told her she was using me an a liar she needs to stop an help me i cant take it.She looks at me an said i am going to tell the nurse i abused her an smirked.She tried it once we told everyone they knew it was false.Now shes added a bunch of other lies to it i have nurses etc we treated her good.I wont go to jail for a lie she had to leave my home i took her to the hosptial got her settled left told my brother he needs to take care of her which is hes not currently doing.I love her worry about her but accusing me of that not feeding her making her stay in the room to eat.That i told her to cook an clean shes only been in my kitchen twice to walk through it in the 15years i been here.She treatens to pee on herself so i would be punished because i told her she can getvup an go i am not yanking on her when i caught ger getting up.I tryed one time my hand was cut bleeding i seen her hands on her wslker then i let go then she looks at me an lets go an falls an it was like she wanted to fall when she could get up.I am so upset my own mother would treat me that way.She gets the helpless dementia act but its not thst bad she says shes aware she had lied to me but not all the time thats how i know an she hets mad about me not waiting on her hand an foot.I had to say she is not living with me i am done.I love her but my marriage was getting bad from stress.I felt so bad putting her out but she still lied to people about abuse.Does anyone have any experiance with being falsly accussed of elder abuse when you never done it .i love her now i miss her but mad as hell its confusing
2 days ago
In looking over my siblings proximity and capabilities to my aging parents, I've realized some time ago that I would be the most likely one to be caring for them. What my problem is that other family members and friends are actually upset and highly concerned with me for considering this. They worry that I'm not giving myself enough time alone, and feel that I should leave the burden to someone else. I don't see that there is anyone else to do it.
Anyone else have family or friends actually mad at you for trying to be a caregiver?
3 days ago
Ok so , I can't talk to my Daddy about anything .. He has mild to mediate Dementia . Very stubborn , in denial , ( always has been , about everything) and it wasn't a good visit the other day . It ended up us arguing , me getting mad , and it just sucked ... So that was like last week.. Was about to go pick him up today for an appt , and I fell , lol ... I'm ok but now taking him to his appt tomm.. I know this sounds horrible , but I absolutely DREAD going down there anymore ! I know i can't talk to him anymore about anything of importance, and I'm trying to learn this .. He makes me so mad by interrupting me all the time , won't let me talk , hangs up on me , tells me to leave his house , he's paranoid , and not trusting me anymore .. I understand it's the disease . But I'm at my whits end at this point !!! P s. My mom also has hydrocephalus, and dementia and he also has copd .... in the only child , no other family members . My husband does help me all the time .. thank God . How do I make myself not constantly worry about them ? They do have homehealth cna that is there split shift am and pm hours .. they seem to be doing fine but it still bothers me..... I snapped today at my house .. totally lost it , and fell . So now I'm all bruised up bad and just praying I can stop stressing so much !!!!!
5 days ago
I am 47 and my mom is 77. She came to live with me a year ago. She is a very heavy drinker ( A HALF GALLON OF VODKA PER WEEK ). She has her own refrigerator and separate freezer in the garage, She hoards rotting food and actually eats it. She gets extremely angry if we say anything about her eating rotting food or drinking alcohol. She will start screaming and threatening us. We are scared of her and tiptoe around her. She has had about 5 major outbursts over the last year. Her last tantrum came about when my husband nicely asked her to move some of her rotting food out of our fridge and into hers. She said she didn't love me anymore and wanted to move. When I tried to hug her she hit me extremely hard. She gets extremely verbal and when she gets me alone she totally goes off about everyone shes ever hated. Its a long list :( Shes really an awful vindictive woman. She also steals my stuff and hides it in her room. Like my favorite jeans or my favorite muffin pan. She was a horrible mother and my childhood was pretty awful. When I was 8 she killed my pet hamster by putting him in his ball and smashing him in front of me. That was after my older brother died in an accident at the babysitters. But I don't want to put her in a home. She means to much to me even though she can be really difficult.
6 days ago
I know I'm supposed to agree with him and support him but some of the things that he wants to do are just plain crazy! There is NO reasoning with him. It is like he is unable to comprehend reason. Some days I just want to scream. Then some times I just cry. It is so hard. I don't have any me time any more. My life is on hold. Then the guilt sets in. I feel so guilty for feeling this way.
6 days ago
I'm a 21 year old woman caring for my 71 yo hemiplegic grandmother I've been watching her since I was 16 (the year that my mother died) She used religion and mom's death to make me feel guilty for a long time... Never had he chance of a normal young life (She loves me but it's a strange love, very possessive) She had a stroke last year and now I'm her sole full time caregiver, with little to no help from relatives
I feel overwhelmed. It gets to the point where I end up hurting myself, never done that before... I hate myself for wanting sometime alone... I love her very much! But I really am overwhelmed, Okay end of the rant haha
An anonymous caregiver said...
6 days ago
Hey - just wonder how much you worry about them when your at work. I feel like i need to install a CCTV system in my house to watch my mom.
What are my options is there anything i can buy. Most worried about her falling and not being able to call me. If I travel - its restless night -- i guess the same trouble i gave her as a teen.
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