Thank you for asking this question. You are learning to listen to your mother, even though she is not well. So many families have shared their stories. When I listen,
I may only hear Alzheimer's and refusal of care.
Does she suffer from Alzheimer's or from some other conditon? Reserve your judgement. The important point for you right now is this: Your mother has a strong will. Her life has not been easy.
Don't try to oppose her now. Try the light touch.
Spend some time engaging in activities that you know she enjoys: tea and cookies, coffee and doughnuts, looking at birds, going for a ride.
Try to get your mother talking about her work, the physical therapy or the nursing home. Try to find the parts of her life that she feels good about. Let her air some of her regrets.
Find what makes your mother more relaxed.
For now, don't try to plan ahead. Don't oppose her unless you have to, even if her personal appearance starts to slip. When a need arises that she accepts as real, she will see a doctor or accept some care.
But a word of caution. If your mother becomes too restless or you feel that she is in danger of wandering, you will have to act. You will have to say, over and over, "Mother I love you, I don't want to go against your wishes, but I am afraid that you will run away. I am afraid that you will get hurt."
Sometimes listening means letting a person talk, hearing what is said and then listening to a bigger view. Listen to a combination of professionals, ministers, friends and family. If you decide that you have a job to do with your mother, don't hesitate. Listen to your heart. Get the support that you need to do what needs to be done.