What Should You Do When Only One Spouse Needs Assisted Living?

Author: Alicia Centeno

Reviewed By: Brindusa Vanta

If only one spouse needs assisted living, you should consider their care needs and determine whether you want to take on a caregiving role, live separately or move into assisted living together. Making the move to assisted living can be a tough decision, but it’s even more challenging when your care needs differ from those of your spouse. It’s hard to know what to do when your life partner suddenly needs more help than you can reasonably provide at home, but fortunately, you have plenty of options to explore. 

Take on a caregiving role

If your spouse has care needs that require assisted living, such as bathing, dressing, grooming, toileting and medication management, you can always take on the role of full-time caregiver at home. While this role requires a lot of work, you know your spouse’s habits and routines best. Ensure the level of care needed doesn’t extend beyond the activities of daily living (ADLs).

If your spouse needs limited skilled nursing services, you may be able to hire a home health aide to provide care in your home. However, if your spouse needs around-the-clock medical support, they need a nursing home, instead of an at-home caregiver.

Live separately

If your spouse requires daily assistance at a level that’s more than you can provide on your own, it might be time to consider an assisted living community near you. While living separately isn’t ideal, your spouse will have a 24-hour team of experienced caregivers to attend to their needs, giving you peace of mind. 

Your spouse would live at an assisted living community while you reside at home, but if the community’s close enough, you can visit as often as you like. Those frequent visits will keep the two of you close and ease feelings of anxiety and worry while ensuring your spouse gets the care they need. 

Live together 

Many assisted living communities allow spouses to live together, even if one spouse doesn’t require assisted living services. You won’t be charged for care you’re not receiving, and you’ll still get to live with your spouse and lend a helping hand when needed. Some communities share multiple levels of care on one campus, so you can access independent living services and amenities for the same price.