Will this cause a UTI?

2 answers | Last updated: Sep 11, 2016
Cleob asked...

My mother-in-law is in mid to late stages of dementia. We have 2 full time caregivers. They alternate weeks and are with her 24/7. From the start, my MIL has never liked these 2 caregivers being there as she thinks there's nothing wrong with her and hates that these women are intruding on her space. We had taken to the assisted living facility she has her name at but she refuses to go at this time because there's nothing wrong with her and want to stay in her own home. She can afford to do so. We have known that she has been fecal incontinent for a few months now but it's getting worse. The caregivers had to take her into hospital at the beginning of October as she passed out at the dinner table. While in the hospital it was discovered that my MIL had a bad rash in her private areas...because she's not cleaning herself properly and she refuses to have the caregivers help her. The doctors didn't find any reason for her passing out so she was sent home. She was given ointment to use and it was suggested that she wear adult diapers (refuses to). We have found soiled panties in her closet and under the bathroom vanity. The caregivers have slowly been taking her soiled panties and throwing them out. They've put out some adult briefs but she insisted that they give back her panties. When they didn't she didn't put anything on so she soiled her slacks. They have bought new panties but again she is soiling them. We received a call from one of the caregiver this morning and they are very concerned because they are finding feces all over the place. When the caregiver nicely suggests that my MIL should clean herself she gets mad and goes to bed.....thus there is feces in her bed. They've found it on her bathroom walls, tub, sink, light switch and on the carpet. When they mention that she should wash her hands because she has feces on them, again, she gets mad and goes back to bed. She is sleeping 16-19 a day. There is no point at this stage in trying to explain or rationalize with my MIL that she could develop an infection and die from not cleaning herself properly. She wouldn't understand and would forget the conversation 5 seconds later. The caregivers are at a loss on what to do. They have mentioned to my husband and myself that my MIL might be better off in a care facility even though that would mean them losing their jobs. Do we put her in a facility? She may not accept their help either. We don't know what to suggest to the caregivers or even on how to handle this. We will be flying there for Christmas and would like to somehow resolves this while there. Any advice?

Community Answers

Cleob answered...

This is the second time I've posted this. First was on Dec 22/13. Can I assume that no one has a solution to this?

Rosar answered...


Thank you for posting your question on this site. I am sorry to here of your caregiving challenges you are facing.
Caring.com has an Incontinence Resource Center that you may find helpful: https://www.caring.com/incontinence. You may also want to direct this question to Caring.com's online support groups located here:https://www.caring.com/support-groups. For assistance in determining if a care facility is needed or to locate a care facility, Caring.com's Family Advisors can assist you. They can be reached at 866-824-8124. If I can assist you with additional resources, please let me know. -Rosa