How can I get my parent's doctor to explain his cancer treatment in a way I can understand?
My 80-year-old father is being treated for a glioma (brain tumor), and every time we leave the doctor's office I realize I still don't understand what's happening and what we can expect. The doctor talks really fast and uses terms I don't know, then seems frustrated when I don't understand. How can I slow her down so I understand better without sounding stupid or wasting her time?
Expert Answer
It's almost impossible to process or retain the complicated information your parent's doctor is sharing with you without writing it down to review later. Bring paper and pen, or -- better yet -- bring someone with you who can listen, take notes, and ask the questions you don't think of at the time. Another solution many caregivers use is to bring a tape recorder and record the sessions with the doctor, then listen to them later to look things up. (Be sure to ask the doctor's permission first, though -- some are uncomfortable with this.)
Most important, though, don't be afraid to be assertive with the doctor about asking for clarification. If you aren't sure you heard a term correctly or don't know what a word means, ask the doctor to explain it. If you're not sure you understood something correctly, try repeating it back to the doctor. For example, you might say, "You mean I should…" If there are images, such as X-rays or slides, that might help you understand, ask the doctor to show them to you or draw you a diagram. If there's something you still don't understand and the doctor seems impatient, ask her if you can call back at a later time to get more information. Remind yourself that there isn't a time limit; you can take all the time you need to go over cancer diagnosis and treatment information and make sure you understand.