You're at one of the most difficult points in life when caring for a parent. I can feel your worry and exhaustion through your words. And I have been right
where you are. I think you go on autopilot just to get through the day.
One of the benefits of putting him into a nursing home OR assisted living is that he gets a chance to be around people going through the same thing.
I moved my father into a private assisted living home where it was a home, but set up to handle careging and assisted living in a home environment. This might be an option. The normally run a little more since they get better service.
Or you can check with the larger types where they have functions available. I would take a trip to the local Senior Center in your community as they have unlimited information for seniors. You can also contact your doctor who can work with you and his care might be covered under medicare or through his insurance if he still has it.
I enrolled my parents with Scan which provides many benefits to seniors in their later years. Plus they offer respite care for you.
Bottom line, doing what we can for our parents is something we never think about, and when it happens, we always step up to the plate. Our parents raised us well. But we forget in the longrun what it will actually cost.
Make this a good time in your life for both of you. There are options, assistance and information available; don't get discouraged and the sooner you do know what your options are, the more in control of your own life you'll be.