How to Know When Someone Should Stop Driving

Giving up the car keys is bound to be hard for your aging family member -- and for you

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Quick summary

If your aging parent or other family member is like most people, the decision to stop driving is likely to be a wrenching one. It raises daunting practical problems (How am I going to get to the doctor? What about my weekly outings for dinner and a movie?). It also represents another loss at a time of life already buffeted by major losses -- of independence, health, and lifelong friends and loved ones.

For practical and emotional reasons, then, giving up driving is a transition that everyone involved wishes to put off as long as possible. It's no wonder that many adult children and spouses say that taking away the car keys was among the hardest things they ever had to do.

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6 Comments

about 1 month ago

All of the information contained in this article was extremely helpful. It fits my 81 year old mother to a T! She is still very healthy and active, but she has cataracts and is hard of hearing in both ears, and she was not a good driver when she didn't have all of this going on! My sister and I have already talked about this issue and we both agree that it is going to be difficult to persuade Mom to give up the keys. In fact, I recently broached the subject to my mother to get a feel for the pending heavier discussion and she almost hung up on me! So I know it's not going to be easy, but it will eventually have to be done.


over 2 years ago

I took my dads keys last year. I see now that I did the right thing. He is totally blind in his right eye, has dementia, and Parkinsons. When I took his keys he said he came to visit me but couldn't remember where I lived. So, that was my cue that it was time. He still thinks there is nothing wrong with him but he is a danger to himself and to others. BTW, he hit the same tree in the front yard 4 times in 1 week even though that tree had been there for over 30 years.


almost 4 years ago

Thanks for having this info available. My brother asks me if we should take Dad's keys frequently but I don't think we should yet. I see by your suggestions that the things I have been watching are the same as you recommend so I feel better that my decision is the right one at this time.


almost 4 years ago

This is helpful. My brother is 81 years old and has gluacoma. His night driving is really bad and daytime driving isn't much better in bright sun, but he won't give up his keys. This might help with aproaching the problem differently. Thank you.


Anonymous said almost 4 years ago

Thank you. The "Warning Signs . . ." and the tips in "Go Driving with your Parents" were particularly helpful. The information was new to me--things I'd never have thought of!!


almost 4 years ago

After almost having three accidents in 48 hours, I voluntarily stopped driving. I am somewhat mentally impaired but hadn't realized how it was affecting my driving. I'm sure that God was helping me realize this. I did not show the symptoms on your list but each of these accidents would have been all my fault. My Bible Study Group said "Thanx".


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