Is it reasonable to want o move my wife with Alzheimer's and I to a larger apartment?

A fellow caregiver asked...

My wife and I live in a senior community where they serve three meals a day and we have small apt here at 570 sq. feet. with one small bedroom and miniature living room. She has moderate Alzheimer's Disease. QUESTION: Given her age at 87 and mine at 85, my being in good health, is it foolish to want to move to a larger place, like an apartment at 1,000 sq. feet or more and not be regimented with meals at certain time, etc. I am able to cook but we have no stove. Tiny kitchen w/ sink. Please advise. Jim M. I identify her on Caring.com as Jane Doe since she sometimes looks at the computer screen. Thanks.

Expert Answer

Helene Bergman, LMSW, is a certified geriatric care manager (C-ASWCM) and owner of Elder Care Alternatives, a professional geriatric care management business in New York City. She consults with nursing homes and daycare programs to develop specialized programs for Alzheimer's patients.

Jim, It is probable that you and your wife moved to a senior community for socialization and support in addition to the meal plan. Considering your wife's dementia and your advancing age, it is a good idea to stay in such an environment that offers you support when you need it. Small apartments can be confining especially when two people share the space; perhaps there is a way to reconfigure it to help you both have your own space. Perhaps there is a larger apartment in your complex; this would be preferable to moving out of there. It sounds like you would like to have more of an opportunity to cook for yourself and your wife so perhaps using a microwave is feasible. You are fortunate at 85 to be in good health and I hope this continues for you. On the other hand, caring for an 87 year old spouse with Alzheimer's can have an impact on your well being and this can be lessened by a social milieu.