Is there anything I can do to take over my mother's caregiving now?

2 answers | Last updated: Sep 21, 2016
Silverado asked...

my mother was put in a respite facility by my sister. I do not want her there neither does my other 2 siblings. We know she does not have guardianship, but must have some form of a power of attorney. Mom has dementia but is in good physical condition otherwise for 79 yrs. of age. My sister does not want to hear our complaints or concerns. She has maintained control for the past 9-10 yrs. and will not let me take my mother home with me, citing medication and theraphy reasons that can be done on an outpatient basis. Her dinner Sunday at the home was hot pockets, tater tots and macaroni salad. She use to go to the bathroom and now she's wearing adult diapers even though she never did before this. I know I can get guardianship which takes up to 4 wks. What can I do NOW to help get her out.

Expert Answers

Barbara Repa, a senior editor, is an attorney, a journalist specializing in aging issues, and the author of Your Rights in the Workplace (Nolo), now in its 10th edition.

If you are pursuing an adult guardianship or conservatorship for your mother, know that most courts provide for a speeded-up or emergency procedure if there is a need to act more quickly, You might want to inquire about this at the local courthouse that handles it"”often the superior or probate court. Many such courts also have good self-help centers for guardianships or conservatorships that can be helpful in filling out all required paperwork and helping with filing procedures.

In the meantime, you might want to take immediate action if you truly feel the care your mother is receiving is substandard and is causing her to have setbacks in her physical functioning and in her quality of life. A good place to begin might be with the ombudsman's office; you should be able to find the local contact information through the national organization's site at Be as specific as you can about the care and its deficiencies, such as listing specifics of the meals.

The ombudsman, or a representative from the local Area Agency on Aging, which you can find at, may also be able to help you locate local alternatives for care.

Community Answers

Silverado answered...

Thank you for the great response, will follow up immediately.