Is it morally and legally right to charge my father more for his care?
My father (in his 90's) lives with me. We charge him $500. per month and provide for all of his needs. Because of his age, we gave him the master bedroom suite, with bathroom. He is in good health still very intelligent. I am one of five children and when he moved in three years ago, my four siblings agreed that they would visit and occasionally give us a break. That has not happened! I have reminded them and received promises that are never kept. My dad has SS and a pension and a bank account. I am co-signer on his accounts and will be executor of his will - mostly because no one else wanted the job. As a responsible manager, I have almost doubled dad's savings while he has lived here. When he dies, his estate will be split evenly among all of his children. At this point, my husband and I are angry at my siblings for their neglect and even though we don't need the extra money, I am thinking of doubling his rent. If I tell my father that I'm charging more, he'll say "fine"- money has no meaning to him anymore, his need a re met. Morally and legally am I in the right.
Expert Answer
It happens too often that one sibling has to carry the extra workload of taking care of an elderly parent. It is commendable that you have stepped up to help your father. You may charge your father a fair amount for room and board and other services you provide. One thousand dollars per month seems to be a fair amount. You can check into the rental rates in your area to see how $1,000/mo. compares to market rentals. Don't forget to factor in food, laundry, housekeeping, transportation and any other services you and your family have been helping with.
To prepare for the possibility of your father going on Medicaid in the future, you should document in writing the services you are providing and the monthly payment. It never hurts to have a written agreement.