I don't want my parents to live with us anymore.
In a nut shell, I moved my 77 year old parents in with me, my husband, my 2 1/2 year old and my now 9 month old last year. Historically my mother worked all of her life and my father worked very little, lied about working, took money from us here and there and was overall an unpleasant person. Now, she is involved in a "Life at Home" program, nursing home services in the home; he does nothing all day, has refused all community centers, coffee shops, etc. He wants to move out ASAP to regain his independence and she will (he wish) probably go with him. BTW - they are both doing better since they moved in with me, got some much needed care (surgeries,etc) and could possibly make on their own. They are making me miserable, tired, stressed out and not very pleasant for my own young family. I am 34 and am feeling much older these days. I have no relatives that assist us, it is just my husband and I. They have alienated everyone else. Should I fight their move? Is it time to end this or do I just keep trying to make it work for the sake of my mother?
Expert Answer
Dear Caregiver, Yes PLEASE do give yourself permission to let your parents move back out on their own. It is important that you continue to be involved in their lives and that they are safe living independently. Use of a geriatric care manager to oversee how your parents are doing would be a great stress reliever. Your children and husband miss the mom you used to be.