Phone
(800) 973-1540

How can my parents be sure that their property stays with in the family?

Paula a. asked...

My father has been diagnosed with advanced cancer. My mother is in poor health and also we have been seeing some signs indicating possible mental health issues with her. Parents want to arrange transfer of their land and house out of their names before Dad passes away. They are not fond of my husband. They also state they fear if I die before my husband that my share of the inheritance would not be passed on to their granddaughter (stepchild to my current husband). Also they fear regardless of who dies first that his side of the family will try to claim that which is intended for their granddaughter.

Short of excluding me from inheritance and trusting my sister to give my daughter fair share what sort of legal instrumentation can be put into effect? Basically parents wish the land to pass along bloodlines (including adopted children) and to not lose the property by following marriage lines.

Expert Answer

Judy and Fred co-mediate family property and financial conflicts, and each work individually as mediators as well. Judy Barber, a mediator and family business consultant, assists clients in resolving overlapping family and money conflicts so they are better able to make sound estate planning decisions. Frederick Hertz is an attorney and mediator who specializes in resolving co-ownership matters involving families, siblings, spouses, cohabitants and domestic partners.

There are two aspects of your question: deciding what really makes sense for all of you as a family, and then helping your parents to set up the legal structure that meets their needs and concerns. The legal mechanics are the easier part of this challenge. Your parents can set up a trust that gives a "life estate" to you (and your siblings) but pre-determines who gets your shares upon your deaths. Most likely there is a way for them to keep the property in the "bloodline" of the family if that is their preference. However, in most states there is a limit on the number of generations of control that they can exercise. They should be consulting with an experienced estate planning attorney who can explain to them, and to everyone else in the family, the technical aspects of this sort of arrangement, and its downsides.

But the bigger challenge is figuring out what really is best for the family in the long term, and what arrangement is least likely to create animosity in the future. We suggest that you convene a family meeting as soon as possible, with your parents' estate planning lawyer participating in the meeting. You all should acknowledge that the ultimate decision-makers are your parents, but they should be aware of everyone's concerns before they make their decisions. A family meeting is the best way to air these concerns in a non-adversarial manner, with everyone focused as a member of "the team" to find a solution that works best for everyone in the family.