Where can I get help coordinating my mother's care with my siblings?

1 answer | Last updated: Sep 14, 2017
A fellow caregiver asked...

Mother has first stages of Alzheimer's. She is 78, I am 52. I am taking her with me across country, east coast to west coast, I own a business on the west coast. I WANT to take care of my mother, my sister and brother have said that she will be too much of a burden for them. I will not have her in a facility for the rest of her life. Both my sister and brother have stated that is where they want her to be. Are there any groups in the Reno, NV area that get together for the care givers to ask questions and seek help?

Expert Answers

Mary Koffend is the president of Accountable Aging Care Management (AACM), an eldercare consulting and care management firm that works with elder clients and their families to find the best care providers and services to meet their needs.

There are many resources to assist with care coordination for your mother with Alzheimer's. It is very honorable that you want to care for your mom. It is also important to have some experts coach you about the most effective ways to care for her. For example, at this stage of her disease, she may be able to travel with you. However, as the disease progresses, she will not enjoy travel and it will add confusion and anxiety and you will need to find an alternative plan.

It is time to increase your knowledge of the journey your mother is on and also to surround both of you with experts to guide you. If Reno is your home base, locate the local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association and they will advise you about the classes and caregiver support meetings in the area or any other location that works for you. If your mom is not being treated by a neurologist or a geriatric psychiatrist, building a relationship with a doctor that can adequately prescribe medications and help you with the behaviors that are part of the disease process is very important.

Another member of your team should be an elderlaw attorney. Review your mother's powers of attorney and if changes need to be made, they need to be made quickly while she is still with the capacity to make the changes. Also if funds are limited, the elderlaw attorney can guide you through the Medicaid process. A geriatric care manager also could be very beneficial in helping you find resources to assist with your mom's care. They are local experts. They can advise you about the medical and legal resources available as well as tell you of caregiving services when you need help with your mom. Here is the listing on the caring website: https://www.caring.com/local/geriatric-care-managers-in-nevada.

Having access to these third party experts will not only help you and your mother, but provide reassurance to your whole family about the best ways to deal with your mother's disease.