What can be done to persuade Mom to accept assisted living?

1 answer | Last updated: Sep 25, 2016
Mdheron asked...

Mom has recently been told by her newly chosen primary care physician (after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's for over a year and being slow to accept it) that she should no longer be living alone. She does not accept this and insists that she can live alone and doesn't need daily assistance. We had a chance to get her into a nice assisted living facility but she declined and now seems to be digging her heels in (mainly because she wants to keep her dog). We don't want to see her living alone through another Mass winter, and are worried about what will happen if social services gets involved. What can be done to persuade her to accept A.L. before she gets hurt or has to go somewhere less nice?

Expert Answers

Donna Quinn Robbins is the author of Moving Mom and Dad and On the Road of Life, Drive Yourself. She helps individuals, families, retirement communities, and corporations make successful transitions through her company, Ultimate Moves. Robbins is an active public speaker on the topic of senior transition services and has appeared on NBC's Today Show.

You didn't mention anything about finances but this plays a major part in these decisions. If this were my mother, according to what you have described, I would let her stay in her home and find someone to come in for part of the day. It could be from 10:30 to 4:00PM. If your mother can get herself up and have breakfast, the person could take her out, fix her lunch and dinner (to heat in the microwave) and then leave. If she starts to wander then she really doesn't have a choice in the matter but if she can still do things for herself, this is the best transition. You can tell her that this would be a requirement for staying in her home and a step in the process that would eventually have her move to an assisted living community.