How do I go about finding a funeral director?

Gee asked...

Currently I am not affiliated with a church in this new city. How do I go about finding a funeral director now, and paying for burial and cremation?

Expert Answer

Barbara Repa, a Caring.com senior editor, is an attorney, a journalist specializing in aging issues, and the author of Your Rights in the Workplace (Nolo), now in its 10th edition.

You are wise to do some planning for the expense that too many people overlook: the high cost of dying. Making some arrangements for it now can not only help assure you will have the most fitting treatment at your death, it can also be a huge relief for your survivors. Looking around now for end of life goods and services will also allow you to make decisions about them more sensibly and coolly, as opposed to requiring someone else to do it for you while they are both feeling emotionally vulnerable and pressed for time,

The type of arrangements you choose -- and the people or organizations you choose to provide them, depend on many factors: what's available in your locale, your religious and personal preferences, custom or tradition, and cost.

But even for those savvy enough to think about such matters in advance, a word to the wise is usually: Preplan, but don't prepay to avoid potential pitfalls. For example, a mortuary may go out of business, leaving a prepaid customer without recourse. Or you  may move to a new locale again before dying -- and then find that the funds paid in advance are not refundable, or that there is a substantial penalty for getting them back. And finally, money you pay now for funeral services may not keep up with inflation rates, leaving you and other survivors to foot the bill. If you do decide to enter into a prepayment arrangement, be sure contingencies are addressed.

An alternate source for help are funeral or memorial societies -- nonprofit consumer groups that help them find local mortuaries committed to dealing honestly with survivors and to charging prices that accurately reflect the value of their services.

To find a funeral or memorial society near you, and for more information on organizations that provide for final goods and services, see this list of resources for end-of-life arrangements.