Having one of those days? The best antidote to stress and fatigue is to treat yourself well -- even if in small doses.
Try these pick-me-ups: 10 minutes to yourself that reverberate much further into your day.
1. Read something funny.
Laughter has been shown to trigger the relaxation response, lower heart rate and blood pressure, and even boost the immune system and ease pain. It might seem corny to dive into a comic book collection, a joke book, or a few minutes of America's Funniest Home Videos, but the effects are real.
Not finding the funnies very funny today? Try forcing a smile. The simple act of turning your facial muscles into a smile triggers the brain to initiate a relaxation response. Bonus: Smiling tends to inspire others to smile (not unlike yawns inspiring yawns). So your smile might make your loved one a little easier to live with.
2. Crank the volume.
Music therapy is often used to calm or stimulate dementia patients, but it can have similar effects on anyone. Playing music with a strong beat has an energizing effect. Melodic orchestral or acoustic tunes can improve thinking and focus.
To get the full pick-me-up effect, raise the volume so that the music fills the room. Really listen. Create a few special playlists that you label by mood so you can match the tunes to your needs: "Happy music," "Energy kick-start," "Dance favorites."
3. Take a power nap.
Ten minutes of shut-eye might not sound like much, but it can be enough to feel restorative, especially if you've had a disrupted night's sleep. Midafternoon rest, when the body clock is at a natural lull, is thought to be especially productive.
A longer, 30- to 60-minute nap allows you to fall into the deep stage of sleep that's even more restorative, but it's harder to wake from. If you only have a short break, set a timer or alarm clock, so you don't oversleep.
4. Pump a little iron.
Lifting free weights tones your arms and strengthens your bones -- but those are long-term extras on top of the energy boost this simple (and not too sweaty) workout provides. If you've never used a handheld weight, start with two- or three-pound dumbbells, sold at sporting goods stores or large variety stores such as Wal-Mart or Target. Lift the weights in sets of 8 to 10 slow repetitions, increasing the amount of the weight over time.
Any quick exercise can have the same effect: running through a few yoga poses, stretching, walking around the block if you can get out of the house, going up and down the stairs a few times.
5. Write a letter.
Simmering resentment, anger, or frustration can sap energy. Psychologists sometimes use this tool to help people let go of energy-blocking ruminations: Write a letter to yourself or your loved one. Put in everything you're feeling. Describe specific incidents. Imagine what you wish had happened instead, or what you wish for in general. (More "thank-you's" and appreciation? More free time? Your old pre-caregiving life back?)
The act of putting your true emotions down on paper (or in an e-mail you don't send) helps your body release them, just the way you feel better after confiding in a friend. Then, when you're done, rip up the pages or delete that e-mail.
Writing a letter helps, I write read it, and then delete. I have a lot of resentment that I can't do anything about.
I think these are very helpful tips in any situation however this stuff appears to be more geared toward caring for elderly or infirm ...what about caring overly energetic children? They are happy when kept busy but need constant stimulation. I tend to run out of get-up-and-go before they do and I'm a single parent.
The 5 helful pick me ups!!!
The rest and exercise suggestions.
Most learn to handle and do some of these things without outburst from my husband.
I'm caring for an older brother..many problems both physical and mental. This reminded me how much I need to care for myself. Taking breaks, writing things down but not sending, tearing up written comments. All are good for me and make me a better caregiver for him.
All of it, either things I knew to do and needed to be reminded of, or hthings that reassured me I am not losing my mind just yet
My husband and I take care of my brother who has alzheimers. He is very difficult because he is very stubborn and un-cooperative, in that he refuses to take a shower, and other suggestions he just gets mad. He also has his radio on with ear phones that he doesn't plug in, and have to listen to all day. I think we may have fixed that though. we have very little help in getting a break too. I feel that I don't have the patience I should but he really tries my patience sometimes. I wish we could give it up, but am paid well for it, and my husband and I are in our 70's and 80's and need this income. I feel like we're stuck.we have been taking care of him for 31/2 years now. He is strong physically, and can read, he reads all day which is fine, and watching tv I'm sure keeps him calm. Thanks for letting me share, appreciate it.Alaskan Nelly
Hi gracenmel, Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sorry to hear your in a tough situation. Caregiving is no easy task, and neither are all the emotions that come with it. You just have to take those feeling one day at a time and realize it's completely normal to feel the way you do. But, you are important and deserve some well earned breaks! To learn more about dealing with the emotional aspects of caregiving, as well as self care, check our the Self Caring blog (http://www.caring.com/blogs/self-caring). I hope that gives you some good ideas. Take care of yourself -- Best, Emily | Community Manager
I'm working on my 15th yr of caring for my stroke-stricken Mother. She's unable to talk or walk, so I need any and all suggestions and help I can get! This article is EXTREMELY helpful to me
This article was very good--I already try to incorporate some of these into my daily routine. I can also relate to many of these comments. My m-i-l is hispanic and i am not, so there is a bit of a language barrier there at times. She has suffered from Schizophrenia for many many years, and has in the last 6 years been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s as well. She lives with us and my husband and i are her primary care givers. With my hubby's work schedule, i am with her 98% of the time. My own mother also lives with us, and while she thankfully is in relatively good health, she has her own set of needs/demands. I also have a wonderful, creative, energetic 4 year old daughter. The day to day demand of juggling schedules, appointments, meds and attention is overwhelming to say the least. I have yet to find the balance between being a caregiver, wife and mother and taking care of ME. Oh, and did i mention that i work full time--3 days telecommuting 2 in the office? I am often irritable and always tired. How do i not let those around me--mother and m-i-l --make me feel guilty when i want to take a minute to myself? and how do i not resent those outside of our house who should be stepping up but are unwilling to? I try to let it go and put it all in God's hands, but it is HARD.
Prayers sherryloyd62
Hi cathey, glad you liked our suggestions. You can find more "caregiver break" suggestions here: (http://www.caring.com/articles/stress-relief-pick-me-ups). Enjoy your breaks, you deserve them -- Emily
Prayers DaddysONLY
I am taking care of my husband who has congestive heart failure and diabetes. I took the test and I will try all the suggestions.
Prayers DaddysONLY
Give more suggestions
Prayers DaddysONLY
My husband has Acute Leukemia. He has been taken off of chemo because the last two rounds have been too toxic to him and he has ended up in the hospital. Family and friends all have alternative things for him to take and its overwhelming me.
Prayers DaddysONLY
How timely. I am sitting at the computer playing music. It always relaxes me.
Prayers DaddysONLY
I did the test and was very very surprised to read the answer. It was great. Even the 5 minute Pick-me ups are exactly what I love to do, but do'nt make time to do it. I am very pleased and want to thank you very much for answering sooo quickly. I see that you have a lot of good information (up to date) about a lot of things.Great.
Prayers DaddysONLY
My mother-in-law is Japanese, and I am not. She can say some of the most hurtful things to me. A year ago I would cry when she was mean mouthed, now it is not so very bad. I usually change the subject, and she forgets what she was saying, or I say oops!, I forgot, and leave the room. I try and not take her comments seriously, so remind my self that she is like a little kid, and does not know any better. I am her daught-in-law, but I am also a successful woman in my own right. I feel you will find that eventually, your 2 personalities will get along very well, use each as you need and want them.
Prayers DaddysONLY
I got into caregiving after my mom passed away. I live with regret every day because I was living in FL at the time when she was ill and came back to find that it was to late, she passed 4 months later. I now help an elderly friend of mine 40+ hrs a week and also work for a comp. on wknds. I feel like i'm losing it I have way to much on my plate, but I try not to show it to my elderly friends and don't want to stop helping them but I need me time.I am going to try some of the tips I have found on this site. Thanks for letting me vent ;)
Prayers DaddysONLY
Getting used to how you feel takes a while--sometimes I almost forget when I am at work. I, too, am caring for a husband with ALZ. I have no one to help me and a full time job but each morning I ask God to help and guide me and keep me in His hands and take one day at a time. I revel in the days my husband is loving and caring and teasing me like he used to because I know those kinds of days will end soon and I want to cherish them now. Having all the other caregivers to share with has helped me a lot!
Prayers scary
yes it was
Prayers DaddysONLY
Well it was helpful, but it is too late for me to use. My mom has passed away but before that, I was using these tactics to stay energized, some times thought I didn't throw my 'letters' away, my sister found them after listening to my father's delusional rants and going along with him because she's always been the center of attention and me being the caregiver to my parents made her think that any non-positive thing my father would say about her, or any positive thing he would say about me, just infuriated her. She took my letters, read them to them, they weren't bad but she would say after every sentence, what she thought I was saying, which was nothing like I had said. She made them thnk I was this horrible untrustworthy person and that she was the only one that was a good girl in our family, pretty soon my father started kicking me out after having driven the 3 hours to get to their house, then my mom even started acting different and if I was looking in a drawer for something for her, she would accuse me of trying to steal something, Life got unbearable and I was unable to take care of them anymore after a couple more years of this. I loved my family more than anything, and had left my husband and son at home to care for my parents because my sisters had to work, I thought I was doing everyone a favor and I had been their caregiver anyway most of their older years. Please listen to the above but no matter how muchyou may think you trust your sisters, brothers, friends, etc.. throw away, shred, burn or whatever you have to do any written material you have used to get out aggressions..
Prayers DaddysONLY
I helped take care of my dad who died of cancer and now my husband of 33 years has alzheimers and I think I understand what your saying. It's like a bad dream that seems so real, your body does what needs to be done for them, but your mind is still trying to wrap around the fact that there not going to be with you much longer. You want to be strong and get things done, but at the same time you can see yourself grabbing a hold of them and just crying your eyes out. Your right there is another personality and when time is right you'll know what it is too. I feel great pain for you for when my father was dying I thought it was the worst pain I could ever feel, but I was wrong for I have spent more time on this earth with my husband than I did my father and the love and differents in the relationships makes it so much harder with my husband. I wish there was something I could say to make your pain easier, but I know there's not. I'll keep you in my prayers and just know anytime you need to let it out that their's people out here to listen.
Prayers DaddysONLY
This is new to me just this week. My wonderful husband of 31 years is termnal with cancer. I feel like two different people. One is a wife, she is so sad it is unbearable. The other one is the care provider. She has the skills, so that helps a lot. but it feel unreal. Is there a third personality in all this? E.