Alzheimer's Support Groups

So far so good, this young lady has had a similar care in her life so she understands my sister's needs. Just anote for those of you who may still be looking for a caregiver, I found the agency thru Caring.com by putting in my zip nad checking the ratings, the owner has been super in maintaining contact and concern. Good luck to all of you and thanks so much for your feedback.

Hello "dmbabbitt," I hope this caregiver works out for you! Thanks for sharing your experience with us. When the time is right, I encourage you to write and rate the home care agency in our Senior Living Directory, to help other caregivers who are in a similar situation nearby. You may learn more about the ratings and reviews program here: http://www.caring.com/review_submissions/new?utm_source=community and leave a review here: http://www.caring.com/review_submissions/new?utm_source=community

Kind regards, Sho

Thank you all so much for your help. My husband usually does her shopping and I cook meals at my home and my husband brings them over to her. I live in Skokie, Illinois and my mom lives in Chicago only 15 minutes from us which helps a lot when emergencies arise. I have to share this, I talked to her the other day and she seemed in a better frame of mind which made me so happy. I'm sending all of you my prayers and hugs too.

love hearing happy reports!!! ♥

Hi Lexie, Sorry to hear about this challenge with your mom -- thanks for sharing, and thanks to all who shared suggestions! Here are some resources on Caring.com that may likewise be helpful...

• Alzheimer's Behavior Problems info center The Difficult Behaviors slideshow has includes strategies you can try with your mom: http://www.caring.com/slideshows/difficult-behaviors

• Your Custom Care Guide has specific symptoms of Alzheimer's and dementia, and how to handle them: http://www.caring.com/my/care-guide

• This info center includes a wide range of content about Alzheimer's, with ways to slow the progression, ease many symptoms, and offer comfort: http://www.caring.com/alzheimers

• You mentioned that your mom won't accept help from others. These tips can help you to persuade your mom to accept an elder companion or in-home caregiver to assist with her care and give you and your husband some breaks from caregiving: http://www.caring.com/articles/how-to-get-your-loved-one-to-accept-an-elder-companion

• Caring.com also has information about Power of Attorney and adult guardianship: http://www.caring.com/senior-money-legal and http://www.caring.com/adult-guardianship

• Info to help you with your arthritis: http://www.caring.com/rheumatoid-arthritis

• Caregiver burnout is also something to be concerned about, and here are some strategies to help you cope with the stress of caregiving and avoid burnout: http://www.caring.com/caregiver-stress

I hope these suggestions are helpful. Please do let us know if you need more. Thanks!

Hi BB--each day is a new beginning and its not only a journey for your Mom,its a journey for you as well---all of us go through a myriad of feelings .My DH passed away just over 3 weeks ago and I now find my mind wandering to thoughts like this--"what could I have done differently or better"......when that happens,I come out of that mindset because I know that it leads down a path I do not want to travel.The past is gone and I only have today ♥

Good to see you posting Avio!! I've been wondering how you're doing. Glad you are able to get yourself out of those self-doubt thoughts. You did a wonderful job caring for your DH. There is nothing more you could have done or done differently. The past is past, the future not here yet. That's why today is a gift. They call it the present. Sending you feathery hugs across the waters!!

Tizzy

Dear BBoo, I think you are simply following the path almost all care givers must go thru, first you must grieve as you realize your loss(es) & part of grief is denial. Some is anger or frustration. Now it sounds as if you are coming out of that stage & into more acceptance of what is. All this is normal & healthy.

As Tizzy said, The past is past, the future not here yet. That's why today is a gift. They call it the present. So enjoy Mom just as she is each minute you are with her & come to the place where you can live with joy & peace within yourself. Mom needs a calm, quiet reassurance from you.

Dear Avio, please don't have any selfdoubts. We all know you everything you could for you sweet DH. Prayers and hugs. BTW did Isaac come to visit. Any one in its path prayers are with all.

Oma--Isaac veered north of us so all we got was oodles of rain and some swaying palmtrees ♥

I had forgotten what a caring and intelligent group you all are! I will try to make more time to visit a little more regularly. what a pick-me-up!

Avio, thanking God hurricane Isaac did not land fall on you! Praying for those in Isaac's path of distruction........

Tizzy

whew! ♥

Welcome. And oh ya. My Mom used to attack me. More than once I had to physically remove her from doctor offices, cars, bedrooms, trees....she is mean to my Dad too, but not physically agressive. I almost went to jail on several occassions when Mom went crazy in public. One day I was smashing her in the car as she was beating me and the cops showed up. He said let go. I said you better be able to run fast because she is headed across the highway as soon as I let her go. He repeated "LET HER GO NOW". OK, but I told you so. She bolted across the highway and it took to cops to carry her back with her screaming and her beating on them the whole time. I asked them if they would please take be to jail but they made me take Mom home. Agression lasted about 6 months but the meaness has been going on for years. Godspeed. CM

Hello Misty and welcome! You've definitely found the right place to ask questions, get information and support, and to vent when you need to. No one will judge you. How was your Mom before her diagnosis of Alzheimer's? Was her personality similar but not as bad as it is now? I always said all the negative aspects of my Mom's personality were magnified by her disease. Mom was very needy, whined a lot, and complained about other people. There were a few times she got down right nasty but that was only occasionally. I'm sure it hurts you to have her talk to you like that. She's more than likely frustrated by what she can no longer do herself and she takes it out on those she loves. It's not your Mom, it's this horrid disease. Marianna asked some really important questions. Has your Dad tried to get some help with your Mom? He is going to need respite. This caregiving business certainly takes it's toll on a person. I hope you post often so we can all get to know you and your situation better. In the meantime, sending you warm welcoming hugs!

Tizzy

Welcome Misty! I take care of my husband who also is "nasty" at times. Not physicle but verbale. He tried Namenda but it made him worse. Some just cannot tollerate certain meds. Sending you warm welcome {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} ♥

Misty, welcome! You've gotten some excellent comments already. My DH (Dear Husband) who was diagnosed about 8 years ago, was quiet, self-controlled, rarely lost his temper, pleasant, generous. He is still all of those most of the time. But what I notice is that the disease & his lack of energy have left him with less self-control & he can become very angry, abusive, using language I didn't know he knew! He talks at length to me of his frustration, fear, upset over his losses; he has lost his independence, his ability to handle money, his comprehension of what others are talking about. He philosophizes about everything at length because he is still trying so hard to "get it".

Please tell us more, Misty. When was she diagnosed & with what tests? Is she on medications? Do you or Dad have Powers of Attorney? In general, where do you live - what state, at least. Big city or on a farm? With this info, we can help you so much more.

For now, just know that, yes, others of us encounter the same actions. This is a frustrating disease for everyone concerned, including the docs & researchers. Keep reading our posts & posting your own. Hugs for now. Grandma Piver

Just poppin' in to say hey and welcome! Glad you found us!!! ♥

Hi Misty, Welcome to our group we are a diverse group of people caring for various loved ones, all ages and from all over the world. My name is Laura I live in Pennsylvania and I look after my MIL 24/7. She has lived with us for 5 years and until May we were both managing to work, my husband and I (not MIL). In May she had a bad fall and broke her shoulder and I quit my job as a cna on a ALZ/Dem unit in a large nursing home. The split personality thing is super common. My Mother in Law comes alive with company, but not us or her grand kids, just special company. She rarely speaks and yells if she wants something, but chatters away if her brother or someone from the seniors center is here. I noticed that it happened a lot in the NH too, they would become animated with say the maintenance man but not talk to a daughter or some other regular visitor....not sure why this is. As far as nasty goes, my husband says his Mom was always miserable but it sure has got more pronounced with the ALZ. Come visit here often, I wouldn't get through my day without these people, such a support and always somebody here to talk to.

Welcome to the family, Misty! I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. It must be very difficult for your Dad to see his wife like this. I am the 24/7 caregiver of my DH (dear husband). We've been at this for several years now. Lharper is spot on when she talked about this journey being a roller coaster ride of emotions. You just never know from one day to the next, or one moment to the next what kind of mood our loved one is in. I'm looking forward to getting to know you and your parents better through this online support group. In the meantime, consider yourself hugged. I live in the Texas Hill Country north of San Antonio................Gillian (aka Jill, Gilligan).

Hi Misty, Sorry to hear about this challenge with your mom -- thanks for sharing, and thanks to all who welcomed Misty and shared their stories and suggestions! Here are some resources on Caring.com that may likewise be helpful...

• Alzheimer's Behavior Problems info center The Difficult Behaviors slideshow has includes strategies you can try with your mom: http://www.caring.com/slideshows/difficult-behaviors

• Your Custom Care Guide has specific symptoms of Alzheimer's and dementia, and how to handle them: http://www.caring.com/my/care-guide

• This info center includes a wide range of content about Alzheimer's, with ways to slow the progression, ease many symptoms, and offer comfort: http://www.caring.com/alzheimers

• Consider helping by hiring an in-home caregiver or elder companion who can assist with the cooking, cleaning and other household items you referenced that you're helping your dad with: http://www.caring.com/local/in-home-care These tips can help you to persuade your mom (and dad) to accept this type of help: http://www.caring.com/articles/how-to-get-your-loved-one-to-accept-an-elder-companion

I hope these suggestions are helpful. Please do let us know if you need more. Thanks!