What to do when siblings don't understand?
My father lives in my house, so I am in the best position to see what's really going on with him. But when my brother visits, he argues with me about everything "“ basically telling me that I'm imagining things and Dad isn't that bad yet. Now my brother wants to take Dad on vacation with his family. I just don't think it's a good idea. How do I get my brother to listen to me, take me seriously, and trust my judgment? We have a hard road ahead and I don't want to fight with him every step of the way.
Expert Answer
This is like telling a child not to touch the hot stove. Until, the child does, s/he won't be able to understand the concept of hot.
I recommend that you give your brother the opportunity to touch the fire by caring for your father for a week in his home. Once he experiences first hand what you're experiencing, he'll understand without you having to constantly explain yourself.
Besides, this approach will gift you with respite while Dad experiences a change of pace. Through the early moderate stage of Alzheimer's, loved ones have been known to "pull it all together" for a period of time in a new setting.
Should your father and brother enjoy their week together; Dad might surprise you by keeping his composure long enough for a vacation with your brother's family before returning home where he can relax and let go.