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How do we prepare for an assisted suicide?

Livingdeadgirl asked...

How helpful is the Hemlock Society when preparing for suicide? Is there a list of doctors that will assist? Should the family be advised of the decision by the patient?

Expert Answer

Carolyn Rosenblatt, R.N. and Attorney is the author of author of The Boomer's Guide to Aging Parents. She has over 40 years of combined experience in her two professions. As a nurse, she has extensive experience with geriatrics, chronic illness, pain management, dementias, disability, family dynamics, and death and dying. As a trial attorney, she advocated for for the rights of injured individuals and neglected elders. She is also co-founder of AgingParents.com.

Preparing for assisted suicide or suicide in general is an extremely individual and private decision. I do not have personal experience in working with the Hemlock Society, though it it my understanding that their purpose is to support the decisions of those who choose suicide. I have worked with 2 persons in my profesional careers who made this choice and did so without anyone physically assisting them. In most states, it is illegal to assist someone with suicide, and criminal charges can follow if someone assists another to commit suicide. Therefore, it is essential to find out the law in your state. Even after Dr. Kevorkian spent years in prison for his highly publicized assistance with suicide in a patient who clearly chose this, the law in most states has not changed. Prosecutors do prosecute anyone who helps with suicide, even if they are acting with compassion, and entirely at the suicidal person's request. Murder charges can and will be filed in many cases.

I do think that the subject of contemplating taking one's own life is something that should be discussed with family. Many people feel betrayed, guilty, shocked, angry and other intense emotions after a family member or friend commits suicide, and they do not always heal from the trauma it creates. Because it affects everyone the suicidal person knows, I think the feelings of all should be considered. It seems unfair to judge anyone about this decision, and I make no judgement. However, as it has such a dramatic effect, which can last for family members' lifetimes, it is best to be open with the subject and the discussion. I recommend the participation of a trusted other, such as clergy, doctor, advisor or close friend, if this discussion takes place.

If there is any possible consideration of other alternatives, or you have no one to talk to about it, Suicide Prevention has compassionate volunteers available 24/7 to listen and offer support. It's a free service, available to anyone.