How can we get mom to agree to move to an assisted living facility?

1 answer | Last updated: Oct 08, 2016
Emily 16 asked...

My mom is currently living at home with my Dad and a caregiver but it is getting increasingly difficult for my Dad to keep her at home. Any suggestions on how to get her to move into a dementia unit at an assisted living. My Dad foresees her putting up an extreme fuss and fighting him all the way. We want to do the best for both of them, but feel this is inevitable. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Expert Answers

Nan Hayes is founder of, the national resource network of Certified Relocation and Transition Specialists for seniors, and President of RightSized Living, a senior home transition service in Illinois.

There can be no doubt that you are dealing with one of the more difficult decision that families of demented patients face sooner or later. There are many things you and your father should consider before moving your mother to a memory care unit and we have included a few of them here. If your mother's condition has advanced to the stage where the caregiver can no longer provide enough support, "Assisted Living" may no longer be an option. Carefully consider the following and be sure your father is 100% on board with any decisions that are made. 1. Has your mother been formally evaluated? 2. How much conflict behavior is being exhibited and is she a danger to herself and others? Is her care more difficult at certain times of day/evening and should the caregiver's hours be increased or adjusted? 3. Does your father understand that he most likely will not be able to reside with your mother once she is moved? 4. Often times, moving a demented patient from familiar surroundings may accelerate their decline. If your mother is currently content and functional most of the time in her home and does have a good and trusted caregiver, you may choose to gradually implement a plan that best suits everyone.Consult her physician and perhaps a local Care Manager along with your father. Placement may be inevitable, but take time to consider all options. Find more information and resources through the Alzheimer's Association.