How can we convince my father, who has cancer and can not live alone but insists, to move in with us?
I'm trying to get my father, who is a cancer patient, to move in with us as he can not care for himself. He is dead set on staying in his rundown house while he could live with us. He lives in Lynchburg, VA and we live in central Florida. How can we convince hm to move?
Expert Answer
Many of our readers are struggling with this same issue. One of the hardest things in life is to see a loved one ill or unable to care for himself and not be able to provide the care that you would like to give. Sometimes when a situation becomes totally unsafe, a decision can be forced, but that leaves family rancor at a time when love and care should be the mutual feelings.
One thing you can do for your father is seek local assistance. Try his local Area Agency on Aging or, if he belongs to a church, find out if they have outreach. Try to be certain that someone is checking on him, making sure he has food, and that gets any care he can get from local sources. If there is a geriatric care manager in the area they can be hired to check in on him, and to arrange for necessary services. A personal emergency response system is an inexpensive way to monitor someone at home, so if there is an emergency there is a local response.
If his cancer is terminal, then hospice can be a great support, as they have counselors who can discuss his options with him.
Because this is his life and he wants to end it the way he chooses you may lose the battle of getting him to relocate. But taking these measures can help bring him some measure of safety and comfort, and you some peace of mind – even from a distance.