What can we do if our mother refuses to even talk about a nursing home?
My mother refuses to talk about going into a nursing home,she gets frustrated and starts yelling and screaming at all our family members. We want to find out if she has had an assessment since she does not discuss any medical issues with us and tells us it is none of our business. The next door neighbors cannot do anything for her as they have tried, we live in sa and she refuses to move to sa.She lives on her own in Ballarat, Victoria and is one extreme to the other in her memory. It worries, the next door neighbors and they're always in tears. What can we do when we need her permission for everything?
Expert Answer
Chances are, the harder you push for resolution the more your mother will resist. This may be because she is truly fearful of moving to community housing, as are many older adults, or it may be a symptom of her memory issues. Either way, you may wish to find another trusted party to introduce the conversation to her or to act as a mediator. Whether minister, rabbi or social worker, sometimes just stepping back from the process for a bit may be helpful. Of course if you feel she has entered more advanced stages of memeory impairment, you can look for legal recourse. However if mom is fully capable of managing her affairs, seeking appointment as her Guardian or Substitute Decision Maker may only serve to aggravate the situation. You would need to consult with a lawyer who specailizes in elder law. Finding someone to help care for mom at home may also be a workable short term solution.