Is is normal for a person to start dating 2 months after a beloved mate's death?

2 answers | Last updated: Sep 16, 2016
A fellow caregiver asked...

The circumstances were 18 months of cancer treatment before death. I realize that grieving begins before the actual death but to this extent?

Expert Answers

Brenda Avadian, brings knowledge, hope, and joy to family caregivers for loved ones with Alzheimer's and dementia. She cared for her father with Alzheimer's and helps families one-on-one and in groups. She is the author of eight books, including the pioneering memoir "Where's my shoes?" My Father's Walk through Alzheimer's and the Finding the JOY in Alzheimer's series. She presents vivid, compelling, and funny keynotes to both professional and family caregiving audiences.

Whether or not it is "normal for a person to start dating 2 months after a beloved mates death" depends on the nature of the relationship before the year and a half of cancer treatment and; oftentimes, it depends on the person's gender.

Men enter another relationship much more quickly than women who have networks of support we rely on.

Men, on the other hand, tend to go it alone and instead seek a companion, significant other, or even a mate to partner with them and help them go on.

Here is an interesting interview that may shed a little more light on the subject and put a smile on your face--at least it did mine when I recall my own mother's passing after a long illness and my encouragement to my father to find a companion. Scan through the questions and read those answers that are most applicable to your situation. Bob Morris's "Assisted Loving: True Tales of Double Dating With My Dad"

Community Answers

Myhandy2012 answered...

I do not think that there is any real "time period" that people need to grieve. Had the spouse been the type to encourage the other to move on after their death, then maybe that is best. We never know exactly what type of communication levels people have privately and I am sure that when a couple is facing a battle like this(I have been through it twice,,once a caregiver, now a patient) there is some extremely intimate and private conversations going on.