Husband wants to "go home." What can I do?

4 answers | Last updated: Sep 13, 2016
Gramcrackers464 asked...

My husband has Frontal Lob dementia for the last 10 years. He has lived in the same house all of these years. He is always asking to go home now. He does not know where "home" is. I tell him that he is at home. This does not satify him. What can I do?



Community Answers

Anianiau answered...

Ask him where his home is, and then listen. His answers may give you valuable information as to how to reassure him, or at least how to respond to his question.


Lindasue answered...

We six care givers, roll our wheelchair bound charge around the "home" she's lived in for eons. We point out photos on her wall, read the plaques scattered about her home and eventually, pray we'll change her thoughts away from "I want to go home". Certainly can happen multiple times each day ~ some, not at all. Where there are six of us, for one or two caregivers to deal with this, is daunting. I've read where others are specific about ~ the car is in the shop right now, to the weather is too awful to venture out ~ may even be too hot and the air conditioner's out in the car. Not an easy task yours. . . You have my sympathy and prayers for stamina throughout. . .


Yagottalite4me answered...

My mom has been in the same house for over 16 years, and when she started getting dementia, she would start saying that she wanted to go home, too, even when she was here in her bed. I moved in with her years ago, so she wasn't alone. But what I've read concerning this is that she just wants to go back to a time that she felt safe & in control. We ended up putting her into an assisted living home which is very nice. We go & see her, but the state of mind that she's in now has gone from, 'I want to go home', to 'get me out of here, they're trying to kill me'. I have watched her without her knowing I was there, & she seems to be fine...it's just when she sees family, she seems to know how to play it. I hate the disease, it's so hard to watch the person you know & love dwindle down. Good luck to you, & may God bless all of you!


Chloe jones answered...

My husband had Alzheimer's Disease and asked the same question. I found various objects that he was familiar with (Christening cup; his school photograph; old gardening coat) and put them in various places and point to them to explain he was at home'. This seemed to satisfy him. He became muddled with the time. I would point to the sun (or light if no sun) and tell him its position in the sky. He understood the compass points and was satisfied of the time by the position of the sun.


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