How upsetting is it for alzheimer's patient to be moved in/out of respite care?
I currently have my husband in respite care while I get well from a bout of pneumonia and have some much needed work done on the house. I will bring him home for a few weeks, then have to take him back as I need to visit my brother who is taking chemo treatments in another state. How upsetting and confusing is this going to be to him? Am I doing more harm than good? I have been considering placing him permanently in an alzheimer's unit but it is just so expensive.
Expert Answer
My heart goes out to you because Alzheirmer's Disease doesn't just strike one person. Everyone involved needs care. Both you and your husband have needs and both may be upset at times. It is part of being a human being. Your husband may very well be upset when he has to move, but there are ways to help reduce the anxiety.
Prepare him for the move. Not too far in advance, but at least a day before, tell him that your brother is sick and that you have to help him for awhile. Let him know that you love him and that you will be back. Pack some favorite music, slippers, stuffed animal, newpaper, family pictures.so he has familiar and comforting possessions. Ask your doctor for a few anti anxiety pills, given as prescribed, but often for a couple of days before, and a couple of days after the move. Since it is respite care, can you use the same facility each time? Can you take him to visit a couple of days before? Can you have a family member or paid helper visit him for a couple of visits while you are gone? If it is a family member, give suggestions of activities to do with him that make it easier and more fun. Go to exercise class together, or for a drive, or suggest a book for looking at pictures. Caring.com has Alzheimer's specialists who can suggest good activities. Most of all concentrate on finding activities that promote life, living and well being for yourself and for him when you are together. Then realize you both can have life affirming times when you are apart. Don't let the fear of upset, control your thinking. Instead, find the support that you both need to both be together and to be apart.