How Can Hospice Help a Person With Severe/End Alzheimer's?

Sissa720 asked...

My mom (90 years old and in the severe/end stage of Alzheimer's) is currently being cared for at home by my 84 year old father (not in great health - bladder cancer, glaucoma, deafness MG). Mom cannot walk, talk, listen (very deaf) cannot take care of and really isn't aware of her toileting needs or her other bodily functions. My dad is taking care of all things, he gets her up out of bed, tries to toilet her, tries to hold her upright (with extreme difficulty) so he can clean her after she has peed or had a BM. Tries to change her diapers and at the same time dress her in clean clothes. She is under hospice care but the told him they could only come in 5 days a week for 90 minutes - that leaves him the entire weekend on his own and 22.5 hours on his own with her every week day. Is it possible for him to get more help through hospice? My dad is rapidly approaching total burnout......

Expert Answer

Brenda Avadian, brings knowledge, hope, and joy to family caregivers for loved ones with Alzheimer's and dementia. She cared for her father with Alzheimer's and helps families one-on-one and in groups. She is the author of eight books, including the pioneering memoir "Where's my shoes?" My Father's Walk through Alzheimer's and the Finding the JOY in Alzheimer's series. She presents vivid, compelling, and funny keynotes to both professional and family caregiving audiences.

Caregiving is challenging enough for one; with two who are deaf and of ill health, it's nearly impossible.

Hospice plays a critical role in supporting your family while your mom lives with severe/end stage Alzheimer's.

Whether or not they intend to, your parents are the models of The Greatest Generation--seeking to independently handle things on their own 'til death do them part.

With all the resources available to caregivers today, does it make sense to do most of the work alone?

No.

I'd recommend talking with the hospice agency to see what else your parents are eligible for. Depending on your insurance, your parents may qualify for in-home care.

My heart goes out to your family--especially, your dad. He's a real hero, but we want him to live. With the rate of your dad's exhaustion and your mom's late stage Alzheimer's, you may lose both your parents in a short period.

Also, call your local Department on Aging to see what services are offered in your area.