Financial problems can easily spiral out of control if older adults don't tackle them quickly. And if they're tight-lipped about their finances or fearful of losing control over their money, they may be less likely to confide in a caregiver or family member about any money difficulties they may be experiencing -- giving problems time to snowball.
Even if you're not privy to the details of their finances, if you pay attention you'll see early indications that problems are brewing. Here are some of the warning signs that their finances are off track:
1. Mail is piling up unopened in their house.
Take a look around the kitchen or mail area. Are there stacks of unsorted mail? What about piles of statements from mortgage or credit card companies, utilities, notices from the Internal Revenue Service, or other unopened envelopes that appear to be bills?
As people get older, the monthly chores of paying bills may become mentally or physically overwhelming, especially if money is tight because they're on a fixed income or if they're slowing down physically. Stacks of unopened mail -- especially bills -- can be an important warning sign that something is amiss.
2. They seem to be mishandling money or forgetful about cash.
When you're out to eat, does the person you're caring for open his wallet, only to be surprised that he doesn't have enough money to pay for something? Do you see undeposited checks or unopened mail from pension funds, insurance companies, or Social Security hiding in piles of paperwork or lost amid household clutter?
These can both be early signs that he isn't paying close attention to his money situation. He may be physically unable to make the daily or weekly trips to the ATM or bank branch to deposit checks and take out cash, or he may be getting increasingly forgetful about his day-to-day financial dealings.
3. Creditors are showing up in the phone logs.
The phone offers a quick and easy way to check to see whether creditors are contacting -- or harassing -- the person in your care. Check the caller ID logs and keep track of any increase in phone calls from new numbers that may be bill collectors. You may also notice repeated phone calls from credit card companies or household help, such as gardeners or housecleaners looking for back wages.
Several of these signs apply to my mother, and have done for years . She's very secretive about that subject and has managed to thwart any discussion of her finances through evasiveness, tears, defensiveness and so on. Has anyone had luck dealing with such a tough customer? Thanks!
I am a daily money manager and help seniors and others with bill paying, paper management and follow-through. Professionals like me can work ALONG SIDE OF or FOR seniors (and others) getting bills paid and being the "eyes and ears" in questionable situations. For more information, check out AADMM.com.
Responding to No. 6: I agree, look at the caller ID logs. Look for and write down frequent or repeated phone calls from unfamiliar and even familiar numbers. My mother was being taken to the cleaners by more than one shady handymen. I would call the unfamiliar number and 'sharp shoot' who answered. Don't be afraid of offending someone you don't know. Even so-called friends of my mother knew me well. I'm sure their thoughts of me were unpleasant but I didn't care. I even went so far as to have a local police officer go to the house of one 'handyman' to see if my mother gave him her compressor. That was all it took to keep him away. Another handyman taking her money was not so easy to shake. He said "I am your mother's priest." When I heard this I went straight to his catholic church, we are not catholic, and told HIS Priest to "tell the handyman to stay away from my mother or I would have a restraining order put on him". It actually took two trips to the Catholic Church to convince them I was serious about a member of THEIR parish. But it worked. If you have an empty house, keep the phone on to monitor. After I moved mom in with me, her house was a sitting duck. Thankfully, the only trouble we had was after the auction announcement stated in the add the owner had to move out. How stupid is that. Fortunately the local police in our county are wonderful. The house unoccupied at the time but full of belongings to be auctioned the following day. I was there checking on things when a strange truck pulled in. I wrote down the license plate. The woman knew she was there a day early. Days following the auction, more things from inside the house disappeared. The police paid a visit to the woman registered to the plate. It was a woman they knew well. They know how to question; she gave herself away and was warned to stay away. There were no further problems. You have to be a 'pit-bull' for your parent. They don't need to know you're suspicious of someone. And for goodness sake, don't worry about hurting someone’s feelings. I promise you if their intentions are honorable, they'll get over it. If their intentions self-serving, they will quietly go away. Unfortunately they will look for and find another elderly victim.
I know my in-laws need help taking care of their finances, but my father in law doesn't want to let go of control, even though my husband (their son) has power of attorney.
I am a healthy 81 year old widow, who lives alone, but has a boyfriend, travels a lot, and leads an active life- HOWEVER am aware that I may need help at some point and so I am sharing info about my finances with my 3 children. And am sending the article to them - hopefully - they will never have to refer to it-
It's a frightening list but one that definitely gives some clues to look for.
My mother-in-law banks online. After brain surgery, she permitted my sister-in-law to check her accounts using her password just to double-check everything looked pretty standard. While my sister-in-law was conscious of her mother's desire to live independently and handle her own finances, having the ability to take a look every once-in-awhile was really comforting to the family.
My In laws run out of food money every month. I'm not sure if their fixed income is simply not enough or if they are mishandling it. It is very frustrating to not be able to see into their finances to know what kind of help they really need - more money or planning help.