Narcissistic sibling alienating me from mother. What can I do if elder abuse agency is not interested?
Synopses: 85 year old, some memory loss, slight dementia. Rents (now being labeled as “helps with household expenses”) space in a house owned and occupied by daughter/grandson as well as other occupants (rent or otherwise) that come and go. Previously lived alone (entire year 2013). Because of extenuating circumstances was forced to move into daughters house January 2014. From January 2013 till about August 2014 when daughter dipped into the account (I was second party on the account) to help younger brother pay his bills, which resulted in a family rift, I handled my mother’s money. Due to the lack of accountability of CASH being drawn instead of checks being written, I attempt to regain control of mother’s finances by again, opening a new account and having RSDI auto deposit into new account.
So... Mid March I took mom to SSA for auto deposit. Daughter invited herself to come with (separate cars) and upon finding out about new account and transfer of auto deposit, grabbed papers from my hand and started ripping them up. She then scurried off with my mom. Three days later I returned to SSA with mom to complete the transfer. We then went to go do our routine twice a month shopping that we had been doing ever since January 2013 (and irregularly before that). It was then I discovered that the packet of cards (ID, EBT, Cub Gift, Medical and other misc.) was missing from my mother’s purse. Upon inquiry daughter said she did indeed have the packet of cards (evidently taken to prevent SSA from updating auto-deposit) and I reminded her that those cards need to be returned to mom’s purse when she was done using them. Up until contact with my mom was prevented they had not been returned. To this day I still don't know if they have been returned. For the next few days my daily phone calls didn’t seem normal. Mom seemed agitated and angry. A few days later the phone was not being answered. April 1 daughter answers phone and tells me I can’t talk to my mom. That I upset her (mom) and that she (mom) doesn’t want to talk to me and refused to put my mom on the phone. Being the 1st weekend of the month I informed daughter that I would be over that weekend to take mom shopping. I was told that I couldn’t come over and that I want’s taking mom anywhere any time. Two days later the new bank account was cleaned out and closed. Except for 2 instances when my mom was near the phone, all calls from that point on went unanswered until the day he daughter again answered the phone. Again I was told I could not speak to mom but my mom must have said something because daughter did give phone to my mom. Conversation was brief with daughter saying things like “Tell him you don't want to talk to him.” “The one that has upset you all the time.” When my mother attempted to continue the conversation the last words were “... don't... no no” and the line abruptly went dead. It was evident by the lack of remote message control picking up and asking for a pin number that the phone had been unplugged. 2 days later calls were answered with the message that the phone had been disconnected. Elder Abuse is dragging their feet and/or doing nothing, and even the Health Care Coordinator say’s it’s not her problem.
Background: I have talked with my mom every day for over a year and a half, and frequently before that. I have been taking my mo out to take care of business twice a week for that last 2 and a half years and occasionally for years before that.
There’s got to be a law! What am I to do? I am but a poor person that can’t afford to hire a lawyer.
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