How can I convince my mother to live with me so I can take care of her?

1 answer | Last updated: Sep 14, 2017
A fellow caregiver asked...

My mom is 57 years old and has been diagnosed with severe depression and dementia. The doctors say that the depression may be the cause for the dementia but don't know for sure. I hate to treat my mom as an elderly woman as she is still young and used to be very vibrant, full of life. Her neurologist does not feel she should be alone while her primary doctor says she's fine. I know in my heart she's not fine, but does not want to come stay with me; she currently lives alone. I worry about her 24/7, what should I do?

Expert Answers

A social worker and geriatric consultant who specializes in dementia care, Joyce Simard is based in Land O' Lakes, Florida, and in Prague. She is a well-known speaker and has written two books, one focusing on end-of-life care and the other, entitled The Magic Tape Recorder, explaining aging, memory loss, and how children can be helpers to their elders.

Your mother is indeed  young to be diagnosed with dementia.  Many studies show that depression may be a strong link to dementia.  It is vital to have have treatment  for depression and good follow-up. 

If you are worried 24/7, work  with the neurologist to help your mom move to a safe situation.  You might say that until you she is feeling better, your doctor feels that you should live in an assisted living community or with you.  Always leave room for hope such as saying when you get better, you can go back home if that is what you want.