How can I stop Mom from getting unsolicited mail?
My mom fills out every mail in survey [usually in conjunction with a request for money, how to live healthier books and advertisements] but most disturbing I see boxes of letters when I go to visit. She has never fallen for these before, but now for about a year and a half she spends her entire day reading through mail and responding to offers. Tonight she told me she went to the post office to get a registered letter. I asked her what it was for and she said political. She has never cared about politics before. This is terribly wrong from my perspective, but she tells me she "enjoys" this process but I sincerely doubt it because when I talk to her on the phone she dreads going through such a stack of mail. I've suggested she throw them away but she will not. I think she feels an obligation and when I speak to her on the phone she feels she has to read every letter, take notes on the health information advertisements, complete every survey. I think this has spiraled out of control. I do not know how to reduce the mail for her [I view this behavior as risky financially]. I've discussed forwarding all mail to my home address and then writing letters to them to stop mailing her things, but I live 1000 miles away so I can't sit down and sort things out daily. When I visit the dining room table is covered with piles of letters and she is sorting them into boxes. I counted 8 big boxes last time I was there. HELP!
Expert Answer
Your mom's newish preoccupation may seem disturbing and a bit out of control. But reading between the lines, there may be some very positive rays of hope in the situation you describe.
Your mom is engaged, interested"”and experiencing some amount of enjoyment in her activities. From an objective perspective, it's even laudable that she's willing to wade through the mumbo jumbo of health ads and try to make sense of them. Her description of "dreading" the mail may not ring entirely true, as she may well be using the mail as a way to stay busy, to feel involved, and to feel that she's contributing in some way.
Your first best course might be try to deflect her and channel her energy into a true cause she might enjoy. Local groups and an Internet search of www.volunteermatch.org, for example, may help turn up a number of activities of interest to her that need help, experience, and energy.
Other local organizations might offer visiting services that might help make your mom stay more active and involved if she is homebound or finds it difficult to make or stay in touch with friends. Contact the local Area Agency on Aging for local leads.
Practically speaking, eight big boxes to mail seems like a lot for any one soul. Since your mom still seems cogent and able in many ways, it might be preferable to involve her in attempts to control the incoming masses of mail rather than to highjack them on your own.
Perhaps you could focus on her complaint of "dreading" the stacks of mail"”and suggest that the two of you work together to find a way to make it more manageable. You might ask her to make lists of the mail she enjoys receiving"”and the mail that feels oppressive or redundant. (This, alone, might make a constructive chore for her.)
Then you can contact the Direct Marketing Association at www.the-dma.org to ask that all mail from its members be stopped"”or tailored to your mom's preferences. To stop pre-approved credit card and insurance offers, which may be the most dangerous type of unsolicited mail, call the Consumer Credit Reporting Industry Opt In/Opt Out service at 888-567-8688.