How do I get Mom to accept being in a nursing home?

1 answer | Last updated: Sep 19, 2016
A fellow caregiver asked...

I had to place my Mom who's 92 has dementia, is incontinent and very little vision into a nursing home 8 months ago after she spent a month in hospital due to a mini stroke. At first she thought she was in a rehab facility so I went along with that. Now she realizes that she is never going home and she has completely withdrawn. She rarely speaks to anyone, cries often and has told me she just wants to die. It is heartbreaking and I don't know how to help her. Please tell me what I can do or say to help her. She has already seen a social worker, but to no avail....she still believes she is capable of living on her own. She is incontinent and is prone to falling. I have already vacated her apt. so she can't go anywhere else. The nursing home is one of the best available, but all she wants to do is sleep. I visist her every day, but I always leave in tears because I can't stand to see her so unhappy. I am an only child so I have no one else to help me. I hope you can give me some help. Thank you!

Expert Answers

Donna Quinn Robbins is the author of Moving Mom and Dad and On the Road of Life, Drive Yourself. She helps individuals, families, retirement communities, and corporations make successful transitions through her company, Ultimate Moves. Robbins is an active public speaker on the topic of senior transition services and has appeared on NBC's Today Show.

You are doing everything you can. My only suggestion is that if she is not on anti-depressants then she should be. If she is, then I don't know what else there is to be done. Talk to her Doctor. He may have other suggestions.