Am I doing the right thing?

0 answers | Last updated: Sep 09, 2016
Mema128 asked...

As a single mother, my mom did an outstanding job caring for me. I was involved in several activities growing up and she sent me to college. She was my biggest cheerleader! I love her so much. I lived about 3 hours away from her. My mom was involved in a car accident in 2012. She was in the hospital for 7 months. I left my mom children, husband and job for 4 of those months to be by her side at the hospital. Three of those months she did know I was there. My husband and children came to visit me and I went home a few times. In 2013, my mom fell and I bought her to stay with me and my family. Right from the beginning my mom hated being at my house and desperately tried to get friends to come get her. She wanted to be back at home. She had two episodes at my house that resulted in a hospital stay and 6 weeks of rehab each time. At the end of last rehab stay , her neurologist informed me that my mother need 24 hours care and she will continue to decline. As an only child, I struggled with what to do with my mom. While at my house, my husband was a little annoyed with her and children was becoming stressed from the demands of my mother. I did not want to have several people from an agency coming into our home. My husband works different shifts and is home asleep. He was uncomfortable with sleeping and waking up to different people in our home. The truth is I did not want to neglect my children of the activities and their high school experiences, my job (I could not afford to quit my job) and my husband, but I wanted her to be taken care of properly, so I decided to take her back home (state) but at an assisting living facility. She loved it! Her sister and mom visits at least 5 times a week and other family and friends visit 2-4 times a week. This is my dilemma, I am feeling guilty for the state my mom is in and for putting her in a nursing home. Every time I am around family, I get the negative feedback for putting my mom in a nursing home and not letting her stay with me. My mom needs constant supervising, medication and assistance with toiletry. She knows who I am most of the time. I am an only child and I have minimal to no help. If I brought her home I don’t think I will be able to properly care for her and stay care of the other demands of my life. I leave from visiting my mom and seeing family feeling overwhelmed and sad. Am I doing the right thing?


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