Mom won't use the bath even though we've equipped it for her.

Lalin asked...

My mother,80, has some mobility problem so she walks with a walker. We have equipped bathroom so she can take of her bath but she refuses to use it. She just takes "towel baths" herself; she refuses our help. How could we get her to understand she must get regular normal bath?

Expert Answer

As Founder and Director of Circles of Care, Ann Cason provides caregiving, consulting, and training services to individuals and public and private organizations involved in eldercare. She is the author of Circles of Care: How to Set Up Quality Home Care for Our Elders.

You are not alone! So many caregivers struggle over the parent's refusing to bathe in the tub. Tub baths are nice. Soaking parts of the body is hygienic. But don't worry. There are so many products to help cleanse and refresh.

There are many older people who go for years without a tub bath.

Make sure that your mother has plenty of wash cloths and towels. Many elders prefer thinner cloths rather than fluffy ones. Thin ones are easier to handle. Small towels are also good. Make sure, if you can, that the bathroom is warm. Some people like paper wipes to clean private parts before using cloth. Find a good aloe vera soap that doesn't need to be washed off. If you go to a medical supply store and tell them about your problem,they will be able to recommend products.

Many elders like to maintain control over their personal care for as long as possible. This phase will change. Then you will have to devise another plan.

I have a slogan that I use in my care of frail people."Don't expect things to go your way." I say it over and over and after so many years it has begun to work.

So many older adults don't want to have suggestions from their children about what to do. But don't give up your valuable work of caring for your parent.