My mom is upset by another assisted living resident, how can I help my mom cope?

1 answer | Last updated: Oct 06, 2016
Yellowrose asked...

My mom thinks another assisted living resident (Mary) stares at her whenever they are eating. The owner, in the past, sat down with the two of them and said "we need to love another." "Mary" denies the staring.

I've tried to help my mother cope, suggesting that "Mary" doesn't realize what she is doing. My mother continues to be bothered by this situation. This facility has only 6 ladies, so avoiding "Mary" at mealtime is really not possible.

Any suggestions?

Expert Answers

Kay Paggi, GCM, LPC, CGC, MA, is in private practice as a geriatric care manager and is on the advisory board for the Emeritus Program at Richland College. She has worked with seniors for nearly 20 years as a licensed professional counselor, certified gerontological counselor, and certified geriatric care manager.

I assume that there are only 6 people total in the assisted living because the obvious answer would be to move your mother to a different table. If there are only 6 residents and they all sit at the same table for meals, could your mother sit next to Mary? Mary would then have to turn her head to stare at your mother, and this would be obvious to the manager of the facility.