What do I do when Mama refuses to see a doctor and my sister isn't helping?
My mama will not go to the doctor and the fear of the unknown is taking its toll on me! She has classic dementia/Alzheimer's symptoms, as well as other medical issues. She has ben extremely irrational, unreasonable, and combative at times.
My sister and I do not agree, considering it's all about what would be best for her. She just dismiises Mama and her wishes, and this angers me very much! Sis has even called Adult Services on Mama, for no REAL reason.
Any suggestions, resources?? I live 60 miles up the road, and I'm strongly considering moving down there.
Help!
Thank you, Nan
Expert Answer
One of the symptoms of dementia is the inability of the person to see changes in their behavior or thinking. Your mother clearly has this symptom.
You have 2 basic choices at this time. One is to allow the disease to determine your mother's care, and the other is to intervene and get the care she needs. She does not see a need for change because she cannot see the changes in herself.
APS may the best option for getting your mother into an safer environment. That may sound harsh to you. Your mother is living in a world that seems increasingly crazy and mysterious to her, due to her declining mental ability. This causes her to be frightened and angry, and to act irrationally and be combative.
She needs help to cope with her new circumstances. Remember, she does not see the problem in her but in her world - the world has gone crazy, not her.
My suggestion is that you find a care community near you, and move her into it.