How can I keep Mom from being so isolated due to her health conditions?
My mom is 86 and is carbon dioxide retentive. She takes oxygen with a bipap at night and naptime. However, during the rest of the day she cannot breathe and as a result does very little. It takes her about 20 minutes to make preparations to take a shower...by this I mean to get undressed. She cannot wash her hair without becoming winded. She is now choosing not to go anywhere because if she goes she cannot breathe, then wets her pants and really does not enjoy herself. She is content to sit and play games on her computer all day long and this gives her something to do. But I am wondering if there is any way to help her breathing the rest of the time or if we are dealing with a depression (but I'm not sure that is true as seeing her grandchildren brings her great joy and she went away for Thanksgiving and enjoyed it) Mostly, I guess I am concerned about the breathing and the possibility that isolating herself from activities may very well lead to a deeper depression than that already a part of getting older. I go to her pulmonologist in 2 weeks. She has refused to go prior to that so I want to be ready when I go to ask the correct questions. Thanks
Expert Answer
It sounds like your mom has done an amazing job adapting to the isolation and limitations of her medical condition. It is always best to stay as active, both mentally and physically, as one can. In her case, it sounds like she is not able to do even the most simple tasks without becoming short of breath, so she is unable to be physically active. I assume her physician is aware of her limitations and is doing his or her best to open the airways. I would suggest, however, you clearly outline your mother's physical struggles with the pulmunologist, just to be sure he or she has a full picture, and directly ask if there is anything more that can be done.
One of the cardinal symptoms of depression is a loss of the ability to experience joy. Your mom's capacity to enjoy some limited travel and time with her grandchildren, therefore, suggests she is not likely depressed. Another common symptom of depression is a loss of motivation, and your mom's drive to continue to play computer games also suggests she is not likely depressed. Given the severity of her lung disease, however, she is living with a significant amount of stress. In addition, many of the medications used to treat pulmonary disease, can have side effects that cause mood or anxiety problems. I would suggest she be evaluated by a psychiatrist to see if there might be a mental health intervention that either involves talk therapy or medication, that might be helpful for her. A psychiatrist could also look over her pulmonary medications and perhaps have a discussion with her pulmunologist, to see if she is having emotional side effects from the medications she is already taking. I would suggest asking the pulmunologist for the name of a good psychiatrist, he or she would trust, if you don't already know one you would want to use.