Is my family's financial abuse of me illegal?

A fellow caregiver asked...

I am 73 yo and a legal resident of Alabama. I have a good mind and only have problems with disabling diseases. When I came to live with my adopted-daughter and her husband in a house I purchased for our convenience, I gave my sibling a power of attorney to take care of things I couldn't. I also put her on my banking. Without my knowledge or permission, my daughter got herself credit in my name, withdrew unknown amounts of funds from my debit and savings accounts, purchased items for herself and husband, comitted me to a three year contract with an alarm service and generally wasted my money on herself, husband and friends. She would put my social security payment in my bank and withdraw it immediately with what ever other monies she wanted. My question is: is this an unlegal abuse of me, my banking funds and power of attorney, when applicable? Thanks

Expert Answer

Barbara Repa, a Caring.com senior editor, is an attorney, a journalist specializing in aging issues, and the author of Your Rights in the Workplace (Nolo), now in its 10th edition.

It does sound as if the actions your daughter has taken"”hacking into your accounts without your permission and spending your money on herself rather than in your best interests"”could amount to financial abuse, which is illegal.

If your sibling is acting as your agent under a power of attorney, with her name on your bank accounts, it is surprising that she is allowing these actions. Your first step may be to talk with your sibling about your suspicions, and get some clarification about why she is allowing your daughter to use up the money contrary to your best interests.

You could be more formal about it, by asking for an accounting of how your accounts are being managed"”and this would help bring to light the specifics of what your daughter is spending"”and where.

If your daughter is financially abusing you by misspending, than you will need to think hard about what action you want to take.

If you want to try to continue living together under the same roof, you will have to make clear what funds she can use. If you feel your sibling is not doing an adequate job overseeing things as your agent in your power of attorney, consider revoking her powers and appointing someone else to do the job.

If you want to start an investigation of your daughter's spending, with the possibility of pressing charges for financial abuse, consider contacting the local Adult Protective Services agency for advice. In some locales, you can also report financial abuse to local police to investigate, but bear in mind that they are more likely to evict your daughter at once, and that may or may not be in keeping with your wishes.

Finally, if you just want to discuss some possible options with local authorities, consider contacting representatives from the local Area Agency on Agency, who should be willing to discuss the matter confidentially. You can find the local office through the Caring.com website at www.caring.com/local/area-agency-on-aging.