How do I find someone to be my power of attorney?
I'm 57 year old female, alone, with numerous pretty stable underlying illnesses that pop up three or four times a year and require extended hospitalizations. Everyone wants me to go into an assisted living facility to handle my meds and daily assessments. The thing is, I don't want to do this as yet. I get some at-home care services which help. My family has all but walked away from me so as not to get involved. I can't even get one of them to agree to be a designee on the Directive. I really don't want a hospital doctor or stranger to make critical life or death decisions about me. Any suggestions would be grateful.
Expert Answer
While it must feel a bit lonely to be in your position, the truth is that you are far from alone: There are many people who can’t find a person they know and trust or who is willing or able or well-suited to act as a medical agent and make decisions on final medical care for them.
Don’t let that stop you from completing the rest of the medical directive—the part that used to be called a living will in many states and still goes by that name in a few. In fact, it is probably more important than ever for you to set out your own wishes for your medical care, as clearly and in as much detail as possible. If you need help with this, consult with the doctor you know and trust the most—or ask a patient representative at a local hospital for some pointers.
Even if you don’t name a person to act as a medical proxy for you, putting your wishes in writing and getting them witnessed and in your file is still a very powerful step. If need be, an attending physician must honor those wishes—or find another doctor who will abide by them.