Our stepmom wants to put Dad in a facility, but we want him to stay home. What's best?

My stepmom is 63 and has been married to my Dad, 89, for 40 years, still sleeps in the same bed, and has always taken excellent care of him, better than nurses we would hire to give her a break. All the family love my stepmom deeply and were hoping she could keep hire 24/7 help and move to an alternate bedroom on the other side of the house near her office, kitchen and the family room.

Yet it seems my stepmom wants to put Dad in a facility which we were hoping to avoid or at least have her try 24/7 care for him in the home before moving him there. We are very concerned about my stepmom's health so we are willing to do what ever she thinks is best. I would rather try keeping my Dad in my home but I live in California and she thinks that is too far for him to travel. If she can not care for him, isn't it normal for one of his children to keep him rather than put him in a facility where he will be scared and confused? I want to honor my stepmom's wishes, I just feel she is so tired and it would be best if she took some kind of long vacation where she would be rested enough to make the best decision. What is the best thing to do for my Dad?