Does everyone else feel burnt out also taking care of your spouse.

3 answers | Last updated: Sep 09, 2016
A fellow caregiver asked...

My husband'he is 52 has got real bad diabetics'cirhoisis liver,depression and other medical problems.I stay at home with him.He depends on me everything and when I forget something he gets real upset.I just want to throw my hands up and quit,but I can't cause there is no one else to take care of him.He will not listen to me about his bathing,changing clothes,and other things also.He will not keep his Dr appt and I really think he has just given up. I am so tired of all of this he is young an i have been doing this for going on 10 yrs and it is getting old.I never get to go no where's,just to pharmacy,grocery and get gas.Sometimes I just want to run away and take a good long breath.I am sorry I feel like that but I can't do this anymore.It has taken a toil on me.Is there an ending to this.thanks for letting me vent.



Community Answers

A fellow caregiver answered...

My heart goes out to you. I have a similar situation. We've been married over 50 years and have traveled and had such fun. Now I'm home all the time except for groceries and gas. I feel like I'm drowning. Venting about it makes me feel so egotistic. How am I making this all about me? I get so angry then I feel guilty. Is there an answer? Everyone in my life tells me I'm going to have to sen my husband to live in facility. I can't do it. It makes me ill to think of it. It seems to me it is my fault for not being stronger.


Lonelyinfla answered...

Sorry to hear your story but it sounds so familiar. My husband has Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension for almost 2 years. I feel like I am a slave instead of his wife. He was always the sweetest, kindest, most compassionate man who never even raised his voice to me. He is few years older than me but being in 50's I still would appreciate going to dinner just once in a while but more than that, just get a kind word or a hug & kiss. There is nothing but nastiness, name calling, do this do that. I doeverything for him from mixing his IVMedication, administering it to anything he needs or wants. It has gotten so bad that i have felt like walking away but there is noone else to take care of him. He is so kind to everyone else but he seems to just despise me. I don't know what to do.


A fellow caregiver answered...

I finally have a story and experience that i can relate too. I am also isolated taking care of my husband. He tells me that I am mean to him. Of course, I am not. Giving up your entire life to care for a husband is an obligation, but unfair and intolerable at times. You feel that you are trapped inside his illness. All your exceptions for the future have been eliminated for the care. My heart goes out to you. Even though at times you might feel alone, you are not as long as you can see through another day.


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