Depression or something more?

Wildrosejmj asked...

I'm sorry this got so long. My husband is a currently sober alcoholic. He drank very heavily for many years (over 15 years, getting worse in the last 5) and participated in many treatment programs. He's been on medication for depression (citalapram) for about 5 years. About 2 years ago they added welbutrin because his moods had become erratic and he was very angry, belligerent almost, with everyone. The welbutrin stabilized his moods but made it more apparent that he was having some problems with memory. Even when drinking, he used to remember everything - every appointment, every number, etc. Now, he was forgetting things occasionally. Things were fairly stable after that and he seemed to adjust to the idea that he just didn't remember things like he used to and needed more help with emails and understanding directions. Then, starting about 4 months ago, he began having occasional times where he completely forgot an appointment or entire conversation. When it was brought up, he had no recollection of it; it was completely new information. There were a few other oddities and unusual things - little things or funny ideas, like suggesting that we get some dry ice to use for extra freezer space, not showering or changing his clothes, forgetting to eat a couple of times, etc. - and then, a couple weeks ago, he suddenly started acting very secretive. I discovered that he locked me out of his email and began looking at porn, something he never did before except when drinking. When it was brought up with his counselor, he immediately became very defensive and reverted to all the "old cards" he used to play when he was drinking - no one loves him, he doesn't get any respect, I treat him like a child, etc. Several days later he was still very upset and was threatening to quit his job because he was upset by something there. He's settled down again now, back to the "new normal," but when you look at things overall, he's changed so much. He has never been outgoing, but the last few months, he hasn't even gone to family things he used to enjoy - a child's state meet, the circus, etc. I've talked to his counselor, who is going to talk to the doc who prescribes his meds. We meet with them both next week. I'm concerned that there is something more going on than just the depression and lack of coping mechanisms to deal with stress. It's been over 9 months since his last drink (4-5 days of drinking when I was out of town) and over 8 months before that time (only 2-3 days). I know he isn't drinking because he has no access to money and literally does nothing except sit on the computer and go to work. Thanks for any input you could provide.