How do I get adult treatment from my mom?
How do I get adult treatment from my mom? My mother has MS & is no longer able to care for herself & her home. I have moved in & am doing all of the housework, caregiving, etc. The trouble is, my mother is now treating me like I'm a teenager again...demanding to be told where & when I'm going out, disapproving if I have an alcoholic beverage, and she thinks my job is to be totally at her beck & call 24/7. Also, since it's "her house" she insists on being in charge of how everything is done & even what day the food shopping is done & what is purchased. I also have a 4 year old girl to take care of. Between the two of them they're driving me crazy! Help!
Expert Answer
Hi. It is important for you to have a calm conversation with your mother and explain to her that the two of you have to work on your new relationship and that she has to treat you like an adult. It may help to have another family member of counselor involved if you think she will not be able to hear you or the conversation will become a battle. In other words, it is clear that you are going to be helping your mother for quite some time and you have your own life to live. Often family member revert back top treating each other like they did years ago. When adult children come home to help and live it is important to have open communication and point out old patterns that are not healthy. Don’t let this simmer. Address the issues with your mother sooner than later and get help if the conversation is not productive.
All the best,
Dan Tobin