What should I do about my sibling complains about caregiving but doesn't let me help?

1 answer | Last updated: Sep 14, 2017
A fellow caregiver asked...

about dividing &/or sharing responsibilities for the care of our aunt and uncle. "In short" What do you do when you want to help so much more and a sibling will not let you, but then complains because they are so stressed, tired, and have so much to do. Again, I am not allowed to help anymoren than I do. Any suggestions?

Expert Answers

Kay Paggi, GCM, LPC, CGC, MA, is in private practice as a geriatric care manager and is on the advisory board for the Emeritus Program at Richland College. She has worked with seniors for nearly 20 years as a licensed professional counselor, certified gerontological counselor, and certified geriatric care manager.

Sounds like you are really frustrated! I think your sibling cannot 'let go' of caregiving enough to share tasks with you. Here is what you can do to help: LISTEN. Just listen. Do not offer advice. Listen. She may be so overwhelmed that what is needed is simply someone to unload onto, someone to listen without being judgmental or trying to second guess. This may not sound like much to you, but to most caregivers, having someone to listen is invaluable. At the end of your conversations, you can always ask if there is anything else you can do, to let her know that you would like to do more. Ask her to make sticky notes of things that need to be done, and then grab one when you ask.