Alzheimer's Support Groups

Thank you, ChgoMom, for sharing about your mom's change in living arrangements, and thanks to everyone who offered support and suggestions! I hope all went well with the move and adjustment for her, you and the family. Here is some additional information that may be helpful to you and others in similar situations...

• Ask & Answer: "Mom has dementia - how do we move her to a nursing home?" <-- includes expert insights from Jytte Lokvig, who coaches families and professional caregivers and designs life-enrichment programs and activities for care facilities. Now that you've completed the move with your mom, perhaps you may also have some tips you'd share with the caregiver who asked this question (and others who visit the page later)?

• When you're ready, consider posting a review of your mom's nursing home to help other families in their search for this type of care: https://www.caring.com/review_submissions/new?utm_source=community Hopefully it's been a positive experience, but if things should go sour, here's "What to Do if Things Go Wrong in a Nursing Home".

• Caregiving for a loved one can trigger some damaging emotions that not only undermine your good work but also harm your health. Here are some strategies to help you cope: https://www.caring.com/articles/7-deadly-emotions-of-caregiving

• You also mentioned that you're caring for a school-aged child. Here are some tips for explaining his grandmother's disease (and behavior) to him: https://www.caring.com/articles/explain-alzheimers-to-children We recently turned this particular article into a Facebook share photo with quick tips -- to help spread the info to the many "sandwich generation caregivers" facing this challenge: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151162905741894&set=a.124522116893.126586.10253871893&type=3&theater

Please do let us know how things are going, and if we can be of further assistance to you and your family in caring for your mom. Thanks!

Blessings today and remember what I said. I wish I would have the day I moved mom. Moved all her stuff brought her back to my house, then back to drop her off chad a complete break down stayed another couple hours then came home and cried for hours. So happy your sister came. I was happy to have hubby and a friend but when I came home hubby just let me cry and soak his shoulder. Friend left forcahile then came back and we all talked til 1 am about the benefits. Still spent about 8 hrs a day with mom for at least 1& 1/2 months until they said it would be good to let her get use to everyone. They were right!!! Mom is so much happier now. I did more harm than good. She started waiting for me at the door and wouldn't particapte in anything not even food. Said my daughters coming :(((((. The last month has been good. But also b/c I was there there were a lot of things that the care givers were not aware of and so we had to start training them in mom routine, needs and hiding places. I wish and pray for many happy peaceful days. Xoxoxoxoxox Dawn

Hi BP, Thanks for sharing about this decision you're facing in care for your wife! And thanks to everyone who shared their experiences and suggestions too! Unfortunately, I can't 'roll up my sleeves to help clean your toilet,' but I can pass along some info and resources to support you in this challenge nonetheless...

Everyone with Alzheimer's or most other dementia-causing illnesses will need increasing amounts of care over time. If you stay in your home, please keep these safety tips in mind: https://www.caring.com/articles/home-safety-for-alzheimers

Here are some considerations to help you decipher if a loved one with Alzheimer's disease needs assisted living: https://www.caring.com/articles/alzheimers-disease-assisted-living Also, some personality types do better in assisted living than others: https://www.caring.com/articles/difficult-adjustment-assisted-living

Many nursing homes, assisted living facilities, and other long-term care communities offer special care for residents with Alzheimer's or other forms of memory loss. Here's a directory that helps you find them in your area (and it includes ratings and reviews from other seniors and families to help in the selection process): https://www.caring.com/local/alzheimers-care-facilities

Given the doctor's recommendation, and your desire to stay at home, please consider how you will arrange breaks from caregiving (to stay well while caring for your wife): https://www.caring.com/articles/respite-care

You didn't mention why the doctor feels it's time for professional care, or why your children think assisted living is best. If it's due to increasing difficult behaviors or advanced symptoms of the disease, this information may be helpful to you as well: https://www.caring.com/alzheimers-behavior-problems Your Custom Care Guide can help guide you through specific symptoms you're seeing with your wife. Additionally, here's a general overview of the symptoms you may encounter with each stage of the disease as it progresses: https://www.caring.com/articles/alzheimers-stages

I hope these suggestions are helpful and you'll let us know if we can be of further assistance to you and your wife.

Congrats on this upcoming vacation! It's so important that family caregivers get some respite, and your trip plans sound delightful! For those still struggling to find time away for self-care and respite, here are 8 ways to make it happen: https://www.caring.com/articles/respite-care Lots of additional ideas for caregiver wellness -- including diet and sleep strategies -- are here: https://www.caring.com/caregiver-wellness Sometimes it can help just to take a few hours away from the stresses of caregiving: https://www.caring.com/blogs/take-a-break Unfortunately, we can't all fit in Corry's suitcase to Mexico, but we can take a virtual vacation there, arrange our own breaks and retreats, or otherwise find a way to relax at home from time to time. I hope these ideas are helpful!